Desperate Housewives
One More Kiss

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One More Kiss

Cut to PI Ironside, sitting in his car out in front of the Applewrongs' house. He's puffing on his inhaler and listening to "Rhinestone Cowboy" on the radio. Nice! Edie comes jogging by, and then she circles back and bangs on Ironside's window. All fired up for confrontation, Edie asks him what he's been doing there, sitting in his car for the past two hours. He tells her he's doing a "property appraisal" for some neighbors who are thinking of moving, which sounds pretty convincing, but unfortunately he's picked the wrong woman to try the old "property appraisal" trick on. Edie, super-indignant, starts grilling him about whether it's the Applewrongs who're are thinking of moving. Because, she informs him, she sold them that house, and this is her "turf." Then she gives PI Ironiside the third degree about which realtor it is that he's working for. She starts listing all her competitors, and he's pretty much struck dumb. He tells her that he just goes where he's told, and Edie leans right in and, panting (I guess from the jogging?), she says, "Look you cross me, and I will be your worst nightmare. I'm a dangerous woman. You don't want to mess with me." "You got it," he tells her, and Edie jogs off all "Rocky at the top of the steps" cocky. PI Ironside rolls his eyes and then picks up his paper, revealing his gun lying just within reach. Edie? You don't know how lucky you are.

Julie and Susan pull into their driveway and get out of the car carrying dueling coffees. And up walks Zana with his polo shirt buttoned ferociously and tucked into a very weird pair of jeans (belted and baggy and tapered and cuffed). Zana, it appears, has something he'd like to say to the Mayer ladies: "I know that I did a lot of bad stuff, stuff that I'm not going to be able to take back" -- you know, "stuff" like arson, stalking, kidnapping, and assault with a deadly hockey stick. But, after living on the streets, he's had a lot of time to "sit and think" and he's...well, he's "grown up," and Susan and Julie no longer have anything to worry about: "I'm not going to be bothering you anymore...either of you." Susan, with brow furrowed in earnestness: "Well, thanks. We appreciate that." Zana then asks them not to say anything to CreePaul, who has been rather "intense" as of late, and then he turns and walks back to his house, his shoulders hunched way up around his ears. Susan to Julie: "Whoa. What do you think?" Julie: "He seems...different. I believe him." And Susan? Totally agrees! "I can't believe I'm about to say this, but I feel sorry for him. It's like he's so fragile!" Julie: "I know, and he's locked in that house with Mr. Creepy twenty-four/seven. Did you know that he's home-schooling Zach now?" Wait, wait, wait. What? WHAT? Are we to believe that a thirty-second apology from Zana -- the boy Susan wanted out of town so badly that she ruined her relationship with Mike over it -- is all it takes for Susan to roll over and say "all is forgiven"? Me no believe! Susan, her brain machine clearly ticking: "I think he should spend some time with a decent role model, don't you?" Sigh. So now Mike's suddenly on speaking terms Susan, and Susan's suddenly a-okay with Zana? The characters on this show are so unbelievably and conveniently inconsistent! Ugh. I wash my hands of you all!

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Desperate Housewives

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