Desperate Housewives
Desperate Housewives

Episode Report Card
Jessica: B+ | 684 USERS: C+
YOU GRADE IT
Pilot

KimberBree snaps Susan out of her reverie and tells her that Paul's asked them to help pack up Mary Alice's things. Susan snaps that she's just so angry. Why didn't Mary Alice let them help her? she wonders. Gabrielle reflects that she's sure they would have known if something were wrong with her. Susan -- for once, not the dumb one -- points out that the woman killed herself, so something was obviously happening. Cut to Creepy Paul standing around and looking menacing.

Elsewhere at the party, Mysterious Mike helps himself to Susan's mac and cheese. She throws herself in front of that lactose-enriched bus, explaining that he shouldn't eat it: "I made it. Trust me." He can't believe anyone could possibly screw up mac and cheese, so he takes a bite and, of course, makes a terrible face. Susan throws him an "I told you so" look. He mumbles that it tastes both burned and undercooked. "Yeah, I get that a lot," she tells him, and hands him a napkin to spit it into. He introduces himself, and they shake hands. Susan exposits that she illustrates children's books, and he explains that he just moved in, and that he's a plumber. Or, er, a "plumber." "So if you ever have a clog...or something," he offers. Susan, naturally, twitters and removes the mac and cheese from the table before scampering off, smiling back at him. Julie watches her mother's inept flirting from across the room. Julie, please learn from your mother's mistakes.

Desperate Housewives

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