Let's get the most boring plot out of the way first: Bree and Orson are still on the outs. Now, he wants to kill himself. She tries to get him to want to live, but won't go so far as to tell him she loves him. Then she goes to someone's 50th wedding anniversary and tells him she wants to love him again. They kiss, and I think we're supposed to care, but we don't. Lynette and Tom, meanwhile, are still in group therapy, and Lynette still thinks the therapist thinks she's the bitch, and Tom's the teacher's pet. Tom proves her right by insisting they go to their therapist's play. She's terrible, which Lynette of course tells her, leading to a therapy breakthrough. Just as Lynette realizes she's a good therapist, she tells them to get the hell out. Apparently she can't take criticism, which is sort of ironic.
Susan befriends a stripper when she's finalizing the sale of her strip club, and inspires her to quit stripping and try to become a teacher. She works briefly for Susan, but a private school can't employ a former stripper. She thinks she might have to go back to pole-dancing, so Susan talks Mike into letting her live with them. You'd think Susan would know that having a stripper in the house is bad for your sex life. Speaking of sex lives, Ana and Danny are heating up in that department, so Gaby takes matters into her own hands. At first, after talking to Angie, she considers giving Ana birth control. But instead she bribes her to not have sex in exchange for money for modeling school and a nice apartment. Ana accepts, but soon enough is stripping down with Danny on the couch when Carlos walks in. He threatens Danny and pushes him against the wall, which Recycling Nazi Angie sees from the curb. She heads inside and threatens Carlos, then kicks the non-recycler's cans over. When Carlos and Gaby head over to apologize with cookies, they hear Nick and Angie fighting, and get wind of the fact that they've been hiding for years. It's nice to have Gaby in the thick of the storyline that matters. It's been awhile.
Previously: Susan inherited Karl's strip club, the Double D's, and she wanted to sell. Lynette and Tom started couples therapy. Ana and Danny started dating, and Ana just wants to be a model after high school. Bree and Orson fought, because he stinks and she's a whore. But mostly because he has to ask for help with everything now that he's paralyzed.
Mary Alice Voiceover says that Orson's smiling again, which worries Bree, who's used to his mood swings: rage, anguish, depression. But the tranquility lately has made her feel something was terribly wrong. MAVO: "Sadly, she was right." Bree arrives home to find all the guys from the neighborhood (Roy, Mike and Carlos) going through all of Orson's stuff. He tells Bree he's just getting rid of stuff he doesn't need anymore. She thinks it's fine if he gets rid of his sporting equipment, but he can still use CDs and headphones. Bree accuses them all of acting like vultures -- adding that it's a good thing she came home before they picked through his closet (as she says it, Tom's coming downstairs in Orson's tuxedo behind Bree, but he sneaks back up without her ever being the wiser). The men all leave, and Bree snatches a last goody from Roy, who says, "Hey, come on, at my age, it's just a short-term loan." Bree asks Orson what's gotten into him, and he apologizes for upsetting her. He says she can keep his things or give them away; it doesn't matter. MAVO says soon enough Bree will learn why Orson's so happy: He's decided to kill himself. Title card.
MAVO: We all have a part to play in this never-ending drama we call life. Some are cast as romantic leads (Danny and Ana kiss on the street -- but, technically, they're supporting characters; you'd think MAVO would be clear on who's lead around here). Others end up playing the victim (someone -- I'm guessing Juanita -- pulls Celia's hair). And a few provide comic relief (Tom spills the contents of his briefcase all over the sidewalk). But if the drama is to be really compelling, there must be a hero and a villain. Angie's walking out of her house as MAVO finishes, so we're not clear which she is. She heads across the street and greets Mrs. Kinsky, in her bathrobe. Mrs. Kinsky (do we know her?) calls Angie the garbage police, and then Angie gives her a lecture on how easy it is to recycle. It's all very weird and aggressive over recycling. Is Angie's crime something to do with ecoterrorism? If so, that is ridiculous. ["Pollutin' da oith? Fugeddaboutit!" - Zach]