Desperate Housewives
Pretty Little Picture

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Pretty Little Picture

Lynette comes home, waking Gay Matt, who is sleeping on the sofa with his laptop on his lap and stains on his t-shirt. "We are raising little terrorists. You know that, don't you?" he asks. "You didn't have a good time?" she asks. He chuckles that she can drop the act: he knows all about the cookies. She groans and asks who cracked. It was Porter. "How was your dinner party?" he asks. He's watching QVC, which I find kind of adorable. "There was dinner, but there wasn't much of a party," she says, and then explains the scandal. She doesn't go into the ejaculation details, which was the one thing that struck me as unrealistic about this scene. The ejaculatory details are the first thing I would spill to my boyfriend. "Clearly, there's trouble in paradise," Lynette reflects, as she sips a juice box. But Gay Matt is not that surprised. He never thought Rex and KimberBree were all that happy. "Are we happy?" Lynette asks.

Cut to Carlos, wearing his pajamas and using the nose hair trimmer. Heh. He and Gabrielle are rehashing the night's events. I must say, one of the things I miss most about having a boyfriend is getting to dish about the event attended in the car home or while getting ready for bed. Carlos admits that he would cry too, if he had to sleep with KimberBree. "You see a man get torn down like that, makes you wonder why he let her get away with it." Gabrielle: guilty look. "Believe me, if a woman ever humiliated me like that in public, it would only happen once," Carlos says, and trucks off to the bedroom. Gabrielle looks alarmed.

At the Van de Kamp house, KimberBree is packing Rex's suitcase. Oh, KimberBree. Don't do that. When a man is leaving you, he should have to pack his own bags, and if he forgets his socks, then he can just lump it. They have a tiff about which hotel he should stay at, KimberBree making the final call, of course, and Rex letting her, of course. He asks what she's going to tell the kids. "I could tell them that you went to tennis camp," she says. He has no response. "That was a joke," she says, and Rex retorts that he got it. She hands him his bag and tells him to come back if he needs anything. "I'll call you," he drones, and starts to go. She stops him. "Rex! In college, when we first started dating, people were so jealous of us. We were the golden couple! Everyone knew we were going to have this wonderful life. Why is this happening?" she asks. Rex is silent for a long time. "Because you can't even let me pack my own suitcase," he says, and leaves. Well, you could always tell her not to pack it, but whatever. KimberBree looks about ready to break, but instead just smoothes out the bedspread.

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Desperate Housewives

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