Desperate Housewives
Desperate Housewives

Episode Report Card
Evany: B | 921 USERS: B-
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Flashback: Three Years Ago. This is the day Gabby moved to town. By now, the Wizard Of Oz gang has snowballed up to four: Lynette, Bree (with muffins), Susan, and Mary Alice. The four ladies march up to Gabby's house. Dead MAVO tells us how excited they all were to "get a glimpse of a successful New York model." The door is open, so they wander inside. Gabby, wearing a matching red lace bra-and-panty set, stumbles out from behind a box. With a rather vague sense of modesty, Gabby manages to locate one of Carlos's shirts and puts it on, but she doesn't button it up or anything. She smilingly offers to shake their hands, but Lynette (who is, what, cracking sunflower seeds with her teeth? snapping gum?) wryly offers to come back at a better time. Gabby laughs and says something about how she was just changing out of her sweaty clothes: "I didn't realize that moving was such great cardio." The ladies all laugh. Then Carlos, wearing nothing but a buttondown shirt and a beard, comes walking out, saying something about how he and Gabby "haven't done it in the kitchen yet." Wait a second -- if he's wearing a shirt, then where did the shirt Gabby's wearing now come from? Or is the whole house just littered with his shirts, what with all the it-doing? Gabby: "Honey, uh, I think it's time to unpack the pants." Ha! Carlos greets the Ladies with a huge, self-satisfied smile, and then heads back to the kitchen. MA: "Let me guess, newlyweds?" Gabby laughs a yes and says it's only been four months. "He's insatiable."

Insatiable...Insatiable......ble...ble...ble...Flash-forward to Gabby, standing in her closet and pensively observing Carlos, who's already fast asleep in bed. She nuzzles up next to him, and he flinches awake. She tells him she's "trying to have sex with [him]," and he mutters something about it being late. Gabby is scandalized. Carlos never ever wants to forego sex: "You wanted to have sex with me an hour after your hernia operation!" Carlos rather lamely says something about how he's too distraught over the loss of Ralph to be in the mood. He settles in like he's going to go back to sleep, and Gabby puts her head on his chest and sits there, thinking for a minute. Then she tells Carlos how Money "said the strangest thing today." Carlos's eyes open in fear. Can Carlos think of any reason why Money would plead with Gabby not to kill Carlos? Carlos: "The poor kid. Awwww, we really need to get her some English lessons." Strike Three!

Desperate Housewives

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