Inside the exam room, the doctor is way down deep between Money's heavenly gates. Gabby shoots him a nervous, questioning "thumbs up" sign. And the doctor? Unbelievably/unethically enough? Actually answers Gabby with a "thumbs down." Fairview, it seems, is just one huge lawsuit waiting to happen.

Lynette is packing up the family to leave the hotel, but one of the P-twins wants to go swimming. When Lynette protests, he pulls out the old "but Dad would totally let me" card. When Lynette continues to ixnay the swim, P-twin runs out and leaps off the balcony. From the angle of the pool that we see off in the distance, I'd say they're only on the first floor. And yet? Wow, boys -- especially boys of the loins of Lynette -- sure are death-wish crazy.

Cut to the hospital. An exceedingly worried-looking Tom sweats into the waiting room, and all the Ps go crazy yelling "DADDY!" He sweeps them up into his arms one by one and gives them huge, huge hugs, awww -- marital problems sure do suck on their own, but they're a million times sadder when kids are involved. You know what else I know? War is hell. Also: chocolate is good. And babies are soft. After the hug-fest subsides, Tom turns his attention to Lynette, who looks like she's just been defeated by life. Lynette robotically informs Tom that the P-twin is fine; he just has a broken arm. Tom tells the remaining boy Ps to watch over Penny (great idea!), and he and Lynette retreat to a sub-waiting room to discuss their marriage. Tom whisper-tells Lynette (there are other people in the waiting room) that he didn't cheat on her: "I never have, and I never will." And yet Lynette knows what she saw! But get this: that woman? The one Lynette saw in the fancy house in Atlantic City? Her name is Nora, and Tom had a one-night fling with her way back before he ever met Lynette. Apparently, Nora got pregnant, and for some reason, she waited twelve years to tell Tom that he's the father. But that's it. Tom is not having an affair. Repeat: he is not having an affair. Lynette is so relieved and happy that she screams a scary primal scream and shoves Tom into a row of seats and he cracks his head on the linoleum.

After Lynette has calmed down just a tad, and Tom has an ice pack for his head, Tom, in soothing, "don't scare the animal" tones, explains that the only reason he didn't tell Lynette before now was that he was waiting for the results of the paternity test. But it's true, he has another daughter (name: Kayla). Lynette, in tears (weak-eyed Evany? Also in tears): "You have no idea how much you scared me. I had already let you go." Tom is totally upset and sorry, and Lynette is so obviously shaken, it's a very nice scene -- Doug and Felicity are awesome, et cetera -- and yet still I wonder: if Tom only recently discovered this long-lost daughter, what, then is the secret he alluded to back in Season 1?