Desperate Housewives

Episode Report Card
Evany: B- | Grade It Now!

Danielle and Matthew are in their seedy hotel room, and Danielle is hangry. Matthew, tired (like he's said fifty times already), reminds her that they have no money. You mean they ran away without having any plan whatsoever about how to support themselves? This is why Danielle thinks they should go back to Casa Mental Vacation and get the cash out of the safe. Danielle even knows the combo! Well then, why didn't she just burgle Bree before she and Matthew blew town? Mature Matthew argues that a return to Fairview is just too risky. Not, Danielle insists, as risky as trying to deal with a hungry Danielle: "I can get pretty bitchy when I'm not fed."

Down at the office of the Dentist (of Doom), MacOrson surveys Mike's x-rays and asks if maybe Mike did time in prison? According to MacOrson, "jailhouse dentistry" is "unmistakable and not pretty." Mike readily confesses that he did "a little time in Kansas." Mike wonders if MacOrson ever did any dentist work in prison. MacOrson picks up a terrifyingly huge needle, and the way the camera holds on it, lovingly, makes me think that it's somehow going to play a big part in some scene yet to come. But unless that scene is in Season 3, you can just forget about it. MacOrson: "During dental school, we did freebie work on some of the poor guinea pigs behind bars, no offense." Which reminds Mike: when they met in the movie theater, he thought he might recognize MacOrson from somewhere. MacOrson very casually pulls his paper mask up over his mouth and nose, and denies ever meeting Mike. Mike can't help himself; he starts prodding and poking into MacOrson's past. Is it possible that they met when Mike was incarcerated in Kansas? MacOrson says that the "only prison work [he] did was in Virginia." Mike pointedly looks at MacOrson's diploma, which is oh-so-conveniently posted right there in the examination room, and it reveals MacOrson as a graduate of a dental school in Minnesota. Like an idiot, Mike points out the discrepancy, and MacOrson coolly (sinisterly?) replies that he's "licensed in three states"). Then MacOrson pulls out the huge needle and says, "Don't talk. I don't want to hurt you." And the "Mark These Words" music swells.

Flashback: Two Years Ago. Gabby is wearing an awesome deep teal dress. It's silk and very form-fitting, it's got flirty little open cap sleeves, and it's short with a flounce hem. Also, the neckline plunges fantastically to reveal a hot pink bra with lace trim. Well done, costumers, well done. Gabby is on the phone and she is mad. Carlos is once again not coming home tonight! He hangs up on her mid-harangue. Gabby is furious! Just then, cute John the Gardener mows by, and sex-shaped light bulbs flash on all around Gabby's head. She follows him into the garage. John: "Mrs. Solis, how are you?" Gabby, clickering the garage door shut: "The best you've ever had." Rowr!

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Desperate Housewives




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