Desperate Housewives

Episode Report Card
Evany: B- | Grade It Now!

Gabby and Susan are hanging out at Lynette's house. Yay, I love it when the ladies lounge together. Susan is telling them how she has the whole proposal all planned out, right down to the Elvis Costello CD. Gabby, ever practical, asks who has the ring. Susan chirps that Mike has it. Gabby: "So wait, you're going to get down on one knee, pop the question, and while you're down there, dig in his pocket?" Lynette: "What if you pull out his key chain?" Susan: "Then I find a way to force it on my finger." Ha. (And hard can it be to get a key ring onto your finger?) Suddenly Penny's baby monitor comes on, and Carlos can be heard saying something like, "Oh Xiao Mei, where'd you learn to kiss like that?" Lynette goes to turn it off, saying that the baby monitor is "always picking up weird frequencies," but Gabby stops her, saying she wants to hear. The three woman stand there, listening. After a few seconds, it's clear that Money and Carlos are sexing it up in a car somewhere, and an embarrassed Lynette shuts it off.

Cut to Gabby wind-sprinting up Wisteria Lane. She stops for just a second to kick off her super-cute red, pointy pumps. Barefoot, she runs up to the Solis garage (where her affair with John the Gardener began), and looks through the side-door window. Inside, she sees Money (in nothing but a bra) and Carlos, making out in the car. Gabby pulls away from the window and collapses against the garage.

Later, Money sneaks quietly back into the house, pausing momentarily to zip up the side of her maid's uniform. She gasps when she notices Gabby sitting there on the stairs. Gabby is calm, cool, and looking fine in a fiery red top and her towering red and white suede pumps. (I guess Gabby went back for her shoes. Smart girl.) Gabby asks if Money is "done" with Carlos, and Money nods shyly. Gabby, locking the front door: "Good, I have a little project for you."

Cut to Gabby and Money (the latter looking like a cringe-y whipped dog), on the deck upstairs. Together, they're throwing Carlos clothes out onto the lawn. Carlos, below, is shouting at Gabby that she was the one who told him to have sex with someone else. She clarifies that she told him to have "meaningless sex," not to "sleep with the woman who's carrying [their] child." Carlos, ever practical, doesn't really see the difference; he thinks they're "even" now." Gabby argues that she had a "reason" to sleep around (Carlos was never home), but she, on the other hand, has been totally available to Carlos. Why, she even agreed to have a kid with him, which I think we can all remember really wasn't her thing. Carlos agrees that she has a every right to be grumpy. He tells her he'll go check into a hotel and they'll talk it over later. Gabby: "Forget the hotel, Carlos. Get a lease." Burn! Gabby turns to go back inside, and Money stays out on the deck, smiling coquettishly at Carlos. Carlos sighs, and Gabby yanks Money back inside. Money asks Gabby if she can leave now, too. Oh no; Money belongs to Gabby for the next nine months. Money hisses something very mean-sounding at Gabby in Chinese (looks like the little innocent act is beginning to crack!), and Gabby bullies that while she doesn't know what Money just said to her, she knows that she doesn't "like the tone." Gabby reminds Money which one of them is the boss (it's Gabby), and if Money forgets that little fact, Gabby is going to make this the "worst nine months of [Money's] life." Pow.

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Desperate Housewives




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