Desperate Housewives

Episode Report Card
Evany: B- | Grade It Now!

From the car of menace, we cut to Danielle and Matthew, who are just now pulling up in front of the Van de Kamp home. Inside, Danielle tries to open the safe, but apparently not-so-crazy Bree changed the combination before she left for her turn at the "spa." Matthew tells Danielle to wait there; then he jogs over to the Applewrong house to get a sledgehammer. As he's leaving, he notices Betty's purse sitting out on the table, so he stops and rifles through it. Betty, from the darkness: "You did it. You killed Melanie." Matthew is all, "You weren't there, you don't know what went down!" They have a little spat about how Betty doesn't love Matthew like she loves Caleb, and thus she would have never protected murderer Matthew like she did Caleb, et cetera. Matthew says something about maybe just maybe he'll be able to find a way in his heart to forgive Betty someday, somehow. Then he grabs the sledgehammer and huffs off. Betty calmly calls 911.

Back at the safe house, Matthew's "lock pick" is working like a charm. He and Danielle blow the door off the safe; then, together, they gather up the stacks and stacks of cash (why all the green? Is Bree like a survivalist, ready at all times to take to the hills?), and then scamper off downstairs. But, uh oh, look who's walking up the street! Why, it's Bree! She didn't get a cab or call one of the Ladies? Bree walks in and finds Matthew and Danielle ransacking the food cupboards. Bree tries to get Danielle to come into the other room for a little private conference, but Danielle snots at Bree to "give it up." So Bree runs to the phone, saying that she's going to call the police. Before she gets there, Matthew (who clearly realizes that Bree knows all about how he's a murderer) yanks the phone out of the wall. So Bree just spills it: with eyes trained on Matthew, she tells Danielle how Matthew is actually the one who killed Melanie Foster. Danielle, brat to the end, deems Bree's info the "lamest thing [she's] ever heard." Danielle turn to leave, but Bree heads them off. Danielle, clearly a little shaken now, orders Bree to move away from the door, but Bree refuses.

So Matthew whips out a gun and points it right at Bree's head. Danielle: "Where did he get that?!" Good question! LJS that he ransacked Bree's bedside table when Danielle wasn't looking. Or maybe he got it when he was back at his house. Anyway, Matthew yells at Bree to "MOVE AWAY," but again Bree refuses. Calmly, Bree instructs Danielle to leave the house. Danielle goes to pull Matthew away, but he shoves her back with perhaps just a wee bit too much force. Danielle is totally scared now. Bree tells her daughter one more time to leave the house; then, slowly, Bree starts walking toward Matthew. He's starting to panic too, yelling, "What's wrong with you?" Bree: "If [getting shot is] what it takes for my daughter to see who you really are, then fine." Whoa. So Danielle's screaming and Matthew's all freaked out, and Bree is as cold as ice, totally willing to sacrifice her life. Bree (who it now occurs to me may very well be suicidal) whispers, "Do it," and slowly Matthew's finger inches back on the trigger and the chamber starts to inch its way around. Just then, they hear a teensy tinkle of broken glass, and they turn to see that one of the front windows now has a small bullet hole in it. Matthew stands there, looking slightly puzzled for a moment; then he collapses to the floor, dead. Bree pulls a stricken Danielle away from the window, and we see dark scary forms moving around right outside, their red laser sightings beaming all around the yard. Wow, Fairview's Special Weapons And Tactics team assembled with alarming speed. Though maybe (LJS!), due to all the crazy crime this neighborhood has been experiencing as of late, they set up a special command post just around the corner in preparation for just such an occasion?

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Desperate Housewives




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