Desperate Housewives

Episode Report Card
Evany: B- | Grade It Now!

In the now, Caleb and Betty walk away from their house, into a waiting moving van. MAVO: "The trick is to keep moving forward -- to let go of the fear and the regret that slow us down and keep us from enjoying the journey that will be over too soon. Yes, there will be...unexpected bends in the road, shocking surprises we didn't see coming. But that's really the point, dontcha think?" As Betty's moving van drives up the street, we see MacOrson getting out of his car with a fat bouquet of roses in his hand. He walks up the walk to the, uh oh, Van de Kamp house, and meets Bree coming out. She looks pretty; her hair's down and she's wearing a kelly green sweater with a nice, deep V-neck. She smiles hugely at the sight of MacOrson's unexpected appearance. Uh oh! MacOrson tells her that he's just stopping by, seeing how she's doing after the "great escape." Bree, bashful: "How sweet! And unexpected." And then she invites him in! And he actually goes inside!

And...SCENE. And...Evany collapses in a puddle of tears of carpal pain and finish-line relief. It sure was nice seeing Gardener John, Rex, Mary Alice, and even George again, but really, the whole two-hour extravaganza seemed a little draggy to me. Seriously, I feel like I've been forced to chew a stale piece of gum for an hour too long. And I'm not just saying so because I had to recap it -- honest!

And so to the two people still reading this soul-crushingly long, 15,655-word recap, I say: see you in September! (Four months: that should give the three of us just enough time to recover from this epic finale and its even more Herculean recap, holy wow.) Okay, I've got to lie down now. Good night, Mr. Walter!

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Desperate Housewives




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