Desperate Housewives

Episode Report Card
Evany: B- | Grade It Now!

Susan is spraying down the RV with ant poison when Mike arrives carrying two to-go containers of coffee. He harks back to the offer Susan made last week to have Mike over for coffee, and the happiness this scant nod to continuity prompts in me speaks volumes about (a) the smallness of my own life, or (b) the lack of consistency that this show usually demonstrates, or (c) all of the above.

Cut to Susan and Mike, sitting in lawn chairs and sipping on their feather-light cups of coffee. (Why is it that the prop people are happy to fill up the prop wine glasses with wine-like fluids, but they always leave the cardboard coffee cups empty? I know it's not all that important because you can't actually see inside, but the subtle lack of heft of an empty cup is definitely noticeable. You know, if you're sporadically compulsive like me.) Susan is flirting at Mike that she must look like a total "wreck," what with Mike catching her mid-ant slaughter. But Mike hastens to clarify that he actually thinks she looks "sexy." Susan laughs off his compliment dismissively. Mike: "No, the way you're taking charge, it's impressive." Susan: "It's just ants. And they're tiny. Of course, they do outnumber me." But Mike insists that he really likes the new Make-It-Happen Susan. "Even if it does mean," Mike fishes, "you aren't in the market for a relationship." Susan is confused. Well, she may not have actually said so outright, but she implied it. Susan giggles that whatever she said, she blames on the "frequent exposure to ant poison." Things are getting nice and cozy when Karl walks up. I'm momentarily surprised that he had the guts to show his face within in a three-mile radius of the wrathful Edie. But LJS: the reason Edie isn't anywhere to be found in this long, long, too long really, episode is that she's still nursing her stings down at the hospital. Karl, it seems, is there to lodge a complaint with Susan for forcing their daughter to "live in a house with wheels." Mike gets up to leave, and Karl jocularly thanks him for making room for important Family talk. Mike agreeably agrees; then he bends down and marks Susan with a head-to-toe spray of his urine. No wait: I mean, "he kisses her." Right, he KISSES her. Am I the only one who thinks Mike and Susan have the fizzless chemistry of two siblings? Seriously, their lack of spark goes beyond "dead battery" territory and wanders into the uncomfortable, hard-to-look-at-straight-on realm of incest. And not the titillating, Flowers in the Attic kind.

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Desperate Housewives




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