Desperate Housewives

Episode Report Card
DeAnn Welker: B- | Grade It Now!
Love and Marriage

Carlos and Lynette talk at work about the dinner party. He says it's amazing how fast you can eat in total silence. Lynette says it's her fault, and she should have told Tom the truth, thought it was a wash with the Patty thing. Carlos thinks it's cool that they have been married so long and still get jealous. Lynette says yeah, but if she falls in her tub again, could he please let her die there? He laughs, "Okay." She says they should never speak of this again, because she's embarrassed enough. He says he saw her without her towel, and she has nothing to be embarrassed about.

Tom's out on a run as Gaby's checking her mail. He asks how garden club is. It's a bunch of drunks, so they're back to planting crap now. She apologizes for sticking her nose into the whole Patty thing. He says he knew Patty was coming onto him, but Lynette doesn't notice him anymore, so it was nice to have that again. He asks if that's terrible. She says she gets it; when they first moved here, Carlos was working so much and would come home and barely see her. She felt invisible. Tom thinks that's the word. She says that when he didn't see her, she found someone who did. Tom says he'd never do that to Lynette, and she says she thought she'd never do that to Carlos. Tom says it's a good thing he has a friend around to keep an eye on him -- even one with a small f. She says he's actually growing on her, then says she's thirsty and they should start a book club. They are such cute new friends. I'm loving it.

Mary Alice is in voiceover again. She says everyone tries to cover up what they don't want others to see. Creepy Dave's hiding the Creepy. Katherine hid her need for commitment. Tom hides his growing insecurity about not being noticed. Bree's hiding her intense disdain. Mary Alice says all it takes is a friendly gesture to hide things so well -- and a plan. Creepy Dave sees MJ in the street and tells him not to play in the street because if something happened to him, it would really tear his mom apart. That's very creepy and ominous. And I would like to thank the show for wasting a whole season before getting to the point.

Next week: Tom and Lynette are having lots of sex. Lynette even falls asleep during it. MJ wants to know if Mike's going to marry Katherine. Bree's capable of doing whatever needs to be done. Jackson shows up with flowers and proposes to Susan. That's right: Jackson's back, and he's as beautiful as ever.

DeAnn is a writer and editor in Portland, Oregon. You can contact her at

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Desperate Housewives




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