Meanwhile, Gabrielle is climbing out of the bathroom window to see Miguel. I can't imagine that a high-school kid is really this good in the sack. Gabrielle then climbs over the back wall, tumbling into the shrubbery. Every episode of this show has featured someone taking a pratfall into the greenery. Miguel runs over to check on her. She wants to know why he hasn't called her back. He's been busy, he says, picking mulch out of her hair. "I've seen who you've been busy with," she brats, reminding him that she can do things to him that Danielle can't even pronounce. "Lot of good that does me with your mother-in-law following you around. Look, why don't we just cool it for a while," he offers. This throws Gabrielle into a bit of a tizzy. She begs him not to say that. Oh, girl. Have some self-respect. "I have everything under control," she swears, and kisses him. "Now, give me a boost."
Back to the poker table, where Mama Solis has cleaned out the other ladies. Bartender, cookies for everyone!
Maisy and the Play of the Boring. It appears that their costumer dropped out. Spying an opening, Lynette volunteers to do the costumes. She adds that, now that she's doing some heavy lifting, she wants to have a vote about the ending of the play. The rest of the ladies are amazed that she's standing up to Maisy Gibbons, and the vote goes Lynette's way: the wolf is going to get it. The woman next to Lynette -- whom I know best as Elaine's cousin on Seinfeld, whom Jerry dated and who kept trying to feed him mutton -- looks both thrilled and alarmed by this development. If it sounds like I'm skimming over this plot line, guess what? I am. It's boring. If I wanted to watch PTA drama, I would join the PTA. This interests me only if the entire PTA somehow winds up at a Royal Wedding in Moldavia during a political coup and Maisy ends up buying the farm while Lynette wears a feathered turban.
While Lynette is off being boring across town, Susan is wearing a really cute crusher and driving her neighbor's hatchback down the street after Paul. She can't really drive stick. Which I guess means that I totally owe you all a beer, yes? Put it on my tab with the cookies. She follows Paul all the way to the Correctional Facility for the Deranged as Twin Peaks music tinkles in the background. Please, if this were Twin Peaks, someone would already be dancing backwards with a one-armed man.