Desperate Housewives
Running To Stand Still

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Running To Stand Still

Gabrielle and Mama Solis are hanging out at KimberBree's; she is jealous of their alleged closeness. "My mother-in-law would never want to hang out with me all day," she says. "She sounds nice," Gabrielle mutters. Enter Danielle Van De Kamp...with Miguel! Dum dum dum DUM. Gabrielle and Miguel both make a series of stricken faces, as Danielle and KimberBree chirp cheerfully and the kids go up to Danielle's room. Gabrielle murmurs that she didn't know that Miguel and Danielle were friends. Awkward. She also can't believe that KimberBree is letting Danielle study alone in her room with a boy. Especially one so well-versed in the sexual arts. KimberBree isn't worried. "Both he and Danielle are in the Abstinence Club," she chirps. Shut up, KimberBree. The first rule of Abstinence Club is, don't talk about Abstinence Club. Gabrielle does a huge, huge spit take at this and the coffee goes everywhere. "Coffee's a bit hot," she forces out.

MAVO explains that Susan was infuriated by Paul's evasiveness. Susan watches as Paul climbs into his car, waves at her, and drives off. "She was convinced that he was hiding Zack and hiding the truth. And hiding her reading glasses. And hiding Julie's left shin guard. And hiding Lynette's two other kids." Susan? She needed a plan.

Susan heads over to Mrs. Greenberg's house, and after a lot of hoo-ha about needing to get back some eggs she loaned Mrs. Greenberg like a year ago and yada yada yada, manages to talk her into letting her borrow her old car. "Do you know how to drive a stick?" Mrs. Greenberg asks. Susan thinks so. She learned in college. "It's like riding a bike, right?" A beer to everyone who sees how this is going to go.

Dr Goldfine's. He tells KimberBree and Rex that they're making excellent progress, as he anally adjusts the drapes. I think KimberBree is growing on him. She thanks him and agrees, as she strokes an ivory tusk on a nearby side table like she's giving it a handjob. Not that I'd know what that looked like, Mom, I swear. Why are you reading my recaps, again? I told you they were full of adult situations. Speaking of adult situations, there's something else they need to cover: Rex isn't happy with his sex life. He thinks KimberBree is not as "connected" as she could be during sex, and thinks they should get a sexual surrogate. KimberBree smiles very, very tightly at this and crosses her arms over her breasts and wonders what, exactly, this person would do. Rex explains that she would sort of be their sex coach. "So she would be in the room with us when we make love?" KimberBree asks with a very sarcastic smile. Rex explains that this will help them "achieve maximum sexual potential." KimberBree's tight smile gets even tighter. Dr. G asks if she has any questions. She only has one. And it's for Rex. "How much longer is your midlife crisis going to last? Because it is really starting to tick. Me. Off," she spits, gathering her things and storming out.

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Desperate Housewives

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