Desperate Housewives
Running To Stand Still

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Running To Stand Still

Coffee Klatch at Lynette's House of Pain. She comes down the stairs and announces that "everyone is down for a nap." She sets a baby monitor down on the table and suggests that they get cracking. How cute: they're pretending she still has those other two kids. Anyway, it's poker time. Mama Solis knits in the background. She looks longingly at the cards as Susan yammers that she and Mike have their first official date next week: "I think he's taking me to see a play or something." Oh, I'm sure you'll screw it all up before then, Susan. Lynette uses this moment to complain about her own play-related drama. KimberBree comments that Maisy does like to rule her little roost. Susan whines that it's just like Girl Scouts: the girls smile at you to your face, and then make fun of you behind your back for not shaving your legs. And that's when we learn that Susan had shitty friends. Lynette yaps that she'd rather fight with men because women are so sneaky blah blah sexist generalization blah. Gabrielle points this out, saying that, um, it's sexist to generalize like that. She wanders over to the window and watches Miguel unloading his truck across the street. Lynette says that scientists have proven this Women Are Backstabbers bullshit to be true. I don't remember seeing "Ladies Are Sneaky" on the cover of the Journal of the American Medical Association. Gabrielle doesn't have time to disprove Lynette's tiresome generalizations about male/female socialization; instead, she makes up a lie about how the guacamole is really not sitting well with her and dashes off to the bathroom. Lynette sighs that she hates three-handed poker and suggests a break. Mama Solis pipes up that she'd be happy to play. "I used to play a little with my grandfather," she says, and suggests that they play for real money. A cookie to everyone who can see where this is going.

Meanwhile, Gabrielle is climbing out of the bathroom window to see Miguel. I can't imagine that a high-school kid is really this good in the sack. Gabrielle then climbs over the back wall, tumbling into the shrubbery. Every episode of this show has featured someone taking a pratfall into the greenery. Miguel runs over to check on her. She wants to know why he hasn't called her back. He's been busy, he says, picking mulch out of her hair. "I've seen who you've been busy with," she brats, reminding him that she can do things to him that Danielle can't even pronounce. "Lot of good that does me with your mother-in-law following you around. Look, why don't we just cool it for a while," he offers. This throws Gabrielle into a bit of a tizzy. She begs him not to say that. Oh, girl. Have some self-respect. "I have everything under control," she swears, and kisses him. "Now, give me a boost."

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Desperate Housewives

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