Meanwhile, Gabrielle offers to sell some of her old jewelry to pay off the credit-card debt that Mama Solis ran up at the Casino of Great Trauma. Carlos will never find out, she says. Yeah, UNTIL HE GETS YOUR STATEMENT IN THE MAIL AND IT HAS A BIG OLD CHARGE ON IT FROM THE CASINO, YOU DUMB-ASS. Don't even tell me that Carlos doesn't look over the bills in this family. Mama Solis is skeptical of this offer to help, what with how she and Gabrielle hate each other and stuff. Gabrielle explains this small detail away by saying that if Carlos found out that Mama Solis fell off the wagon and got run over by the wheel, it would break his heart. So, she's really protecting HIM. Because she loves them. Dude, Carlos could seriously do better than Gabrielle. Maybe he should hook up with KimberBree!
Again: what day is this? It seemed like it was late when KimberBree and Rex were doing it, and Lynette was late at the school making costumes while her children were...I don't know...and now it's totally daytime. That kind of continuity error really irritates me. Anyway. Shady Groves. Susan has an appointment with the unfortunately named Dr. Sicker. When the receptionist goes to fetch him, Julie sneaks onto the patio. Dr. Sicker comes out to meet Susan, who tells him that she's there doing research for a children's book.
So, Julie sneaks in to see a comatose and slightly depressed Zack. "What's wrong with you?" she asks. He blames it on the pills, but I dunno. I feel like his slightly lackluster mood might have something to do with how his mom killed herself and his Dad locked him up in the loony bin. Julie explains that she came to see him and to ask him something, but she doesn't have much time. "Last week you told Mrs. Van De Kamp that your mom killed herself because of something you did. Something bad. What were you talking about?" Well, that's direct of her. "After my mom died, I started remembering things that happened when I was little. What happened to Dana," Zack tells her. Julie, of course, wonders who Dana is, and it is of course at this point that a nurse comes in and kicks her ass out. She tells Zack a very sweet and heartfelt goodbye and goes. He looks so sad. And very poorly coiffed.
Camp Van De Kamp. KimberBree is mending an old coffee mug. Enter Rex: what are you doing? Fixing a mug. Why don't you get a new one? She believes in fixing what you already have. Why, it's all very meta, except by meta, I mean obvious, and not in a really good way, like how last week Patch Abbott compared Amy Abbott's Flower of Virginity to an E-Z Bake Oven cake. That was brilliant. This is just sort of vaguely amusing and obvious. Anyway, Rex hems and haws and finally begins, "About what happened today...." KimberBree says that Rex humiliated her, "for no good reason." He apologizes. She tells him that she was there, and she was willing, and "normal men don't say no to that." Hell, abnormal men don't say no to Marcia Cross in her skivvies and a mink coat. I don't say no to Marcia Cross in her skivvies and a mink coat. And I AM a fan of the scrotum. (Sorry, Mom.)