Bree has Rev. Sykes over, and for once he does not condone her ass-awful behavior, noting straight-up that she only cooks him desserts when she's trying to buy her way back into God's good graces.
Sykes: "I have before me a hazelnut chocolate chip scone with currants. Leading me to ask, multiple times, whether you've finally killed someone."
Bree: "No. But you're remarkably on the money as far as my self-serving version of faith. See, lately I feel like Job."
Sykes: "I know you cannot be talking about the Biblical Job."
Bree: "Indeed I am. I was living with a 37-year-old boy man in sin, and he left me for Florida after I put him through about ten different kinds of screwball misogynist hell. Also, abusing and shaming my children for years has left them feeling kinda 'meh' on the subject of me. And finally, I lost my business."
(This either had to do with Krazy Katherine, Awful Orson, or some new and horrible thing she did to Andrew, I can't remember anymore. Sam Page may have been involved, or a fire, or maybe this happened during the Five Year Jump. I do not actually care. Also, I miss Andrew very bad.)
Sykes: "Okay, allowing for your all-consuming solipsism, I can understand how you mean you are Job. But how about this: Stop fucking whining."
Bree: "Not sure I follow."
Sykes: "You are not Susan Delfino."
Bree: "Thank Jesus."
Sykes: "So pull it together and man up."
(Still not getting it.)
Sykes: "Okay. My dad, who I freaking hated, taught me exactly one thing. When the going gets tough, the tough give back."
Bree: "You mean like condescending to the less fortunate so they know who's boss?"
Sykes: "Sort of, but no."
Bree: "You mean, like, God will reward me for doing things for other people?"
Sykes: "Absolutely not."
Bree: "That is a grand idea you have given me. I'll just buy some Jesus by doing shit for people!"
Sykes: "You know what, fine. Fuck it."
Meanwhile, Renee and Lynette -- who are apparently friends, not that they ever hang out together -- have braved the toxic landscape of the Twins' room, because the Twins are off dressing alike and riding a Daisy-Daisy bike and generally being the totally wrong idea about twins.