Inside the chapel, Gary and Susan stand at the altar while Stephen sits in a pew behind them (wow, pews -- pretty fancy for a glorified check-cashing center) and freezes them both with his glare. Gary asks the officiant if he can put on the CD Stephen burned, and the officiant heads into the back to find the stereo. Alone again, Susan, Gary, and Stephen exchange another round of uncomfortable looks. Stephen, scoffing: "'Wandering spleen'...it doesn't even sound real." Hey, that's exactly what I thought! Susan, defensively: "Well, it is. I could die!" Stephen: "You look fine to me." Stephen to Gary: "I have asked you six times to fly with me to Holland and get married, and you always have some lame excuse!" Gary and Stephen bicker some more, and then Susan jumps in with a spiel about how she'd love it if they could head off to Holland and get hitched, what with all the "clogs" and the "tulips," except that she needs this surgery, and she's a nice person, and she's always been a big supporter of gay rights, so...? But Stephen isn't picking up what she's laying down, no. He turns and stomps right on out of there. Gary says a quick "sorry" to Susan, and then he races after Stephen. And at exactly that moment, the music starts up. It's Tina Turner, singing "What's Love Got To Do with It?" Ha! (And yet, somehow I can't help thinking that this scene had the potential for a "ha ha" or even a "ha ha ha," given the actors involved. Sigh.)
Cut to Susan, sitting on her stoop and digging directly into her wedding cake with a fork. Karl comes up and sits next to her, and she unloads her tale of woe. Also? I can alllllmost see her nipple, what with the defeated hunching of her shoulders and the gaping of the top of her dress! And from where Karl is situated, he is almost guaranteed a nipple glimpse. Perhaps that's why he proceeds to offer to marry Susan himself: "Look, Susie. I've always felt awful about walking out on you the way I did, and I figure, if we do this, I'd basically be saving your life. I figure I owe you one." The "aw, sweet" music tinkles, and Susan stares at Karl like a drugged person. Karl gets down on one knee and laughingly proposes, and after a few seconds, Susan laughs, "What the hell!" They sit there for a few seconds, smiling at the craziness of what they've just agreed to, and then Susan asks, "What about Edie?" Immediately (so immediately that it's clear he was just thinking the same exact thing), Karl says, "We can't tell her." Susan: "She'd kill us both." Karl: "It'll be our little secret." Another fail-proof plan!