Bree watches out her curtains as Betty and Matthew leave their house and drive away. MAVO tells us how, because Bree is so trustworthy, she has the keys to all the neighbors' houses. Bree goes over and opens a cupboard to reveal row up on row upon row of neatly dangling house keys. It seems like an unbelievably insane number of keys -- there are easily twenty different sets hanging there, all perfectly labeled -- but maybe this is just one of the many mysterious ways of the suburbs, mass key collecting? Bree selects the keys labeled "Mullins," and then heads over to the Applewrongs' house. Magically enough, the key opens the door! As I think someone on the boards pointed out, the likelihood that Betty would go through the trouble of buying a house over the internet, moving into town under the cover of darkness, and installing a dungeon, but then wouldn't change the lock? Slim to none. Also, isn't this the exact same way PI Ironside got into their house -- by waiting until Betty and Matthew left home? You'd think the Applewrongs would have learned by now that Caleb can never ever be left unattended. But since I'm already so worn down by this episode, which feels like it's been going on for hours and hours already, I'm just going to agree to disagree with the writers on this one. For puke's sake. Caleb creeps down from his room upstairs, and Bree introduces herself and offers him some "homemade cobbler." Dishonest pudding? Crab puffs? Homemade cobbler? This show is nothing but sex, sex, sex!
Down at the office, everyone is huddled around Tom, who is holding a donut. The crowd heads en masse into the bathroom, and Pat the receptionist explains to a confused Lynette that Ed has challenged Tom to eat a donut out of the toilet. "Isn't it disgusting?" Pat coos gleefully. And Lynette does, indeed, look disgusted. (But not as disgusted as she's going to look by the end of this episode, oh my god.) Lynette darts into the bathroom and fetches Tom away from there, saying, "I never thought I'd have to ask you this, but are you about to eat a donut out of the toilet?" Tom, super-earnestly: "Yeah. For the Galveston Jewelers account." Tom explains that this is all part of his strategy to click with Ed. Lynette tells him gently that Ed is just "gets off on humiliating" Tom, and begs Tom not to go through with the donut dunk. Ed comes out of the bathroom and impatiently says, "We're waiting, Scavo!" Tom hesitates for a second, and then tells Lynette firmly, "This is my moment!" He and his donut return to the bathroom, where they are both greeted with big cheers.