Desperate Housewives
Silly People

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Evany: B- | Grade It Now!
Silly People

Edie is sitting with a guy at the counter of a diner, telling him, "Sometimes she is a little hard to stomach, but she means well." Just then, the devil they spoke of walks in. Edie introduces Susan to "Gary," Susan's "future ex-husband." (Gary, incidentally, is played by Carlos Jacott, whom I know and love as Vince from Mr. Jealousy.) Edie takes off, Susan sits down, and she and Gary exchange shy little "hi"s. Then Gary jumps right in: "So, do you want to get married on Wednesday? Because Thursday and Friday I'm out of town." Susan is a little thrown by the abruptness, but she smiles and tries to go with it. She small-talks with a question about how it is that Edie was able to talk Gary into this. Turns out that Gary's in "need of a fake bride" himself, because he's gay and hasn't come out to his mother yet. At first, he didn't tell her because he was afraid it would "upset her," but then she got older and frailer, and Gary got to thinking: "Maybe if I just kept my mouth shut, nature would take its course we could avoid was sure to be a very ugly scene." Inquisitive Susan asks him what changed. Gary: "She told me at her eight-first birthday last month that the only reason she's hanging on is to see me get married." Susan, still smiling: "Oh! So by marrying me..." Gary, finishing the thought: "I get my inheritance that much sooner." Susan's smile fades just a bit. Gary, realizing that he's maybe coming off as a tad of a monster: "No, but mostly I want to make sure so she's happy." With that, he pulls out some bills, stands, and tells Susan: "You seem very nice, Susan. It will be a pleasure being married to you." They shake hands, he offers her his plate of leftover fries, and he leaves. I don't know about you guys, but this whole "marrying for the insurance coverage" thing is beginning to feel like less than the greatest idea. But maybe it's just me.

Noah is sitting in the middle of a big, rich-person's room. He's got a blanket on his lap and an IV drip beside him. In walks Felicia with a tray carrying his mail and his pills. As Noah digs into his mail, Felicia busies herself off to the side of the room, but she's still watching Noah out of the corner of her eye. Noah looks startled by the news he finds inside one of the envelopes, and asks Felicia where the letter came from. She lies that she has no idea. Noah opens up the letter again, and we see that it reads "YOU HAVE A GRANDCHILD" in handwriting-analysis-foiling block lettering. Uh oh! Noah gets on the phone and calls that crooked cop, Sullivan. (The one who pistol-whipped Mike, remember?) Noah tells Sullivan to get over there -- that "Mike Delfino's been holding out." And does Felicia overhear the whole conversation? And then smile knowingly to herself? You bet her sweet banana bread she does!

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Desperate Housewives




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