Desperate Housewives

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Smiles Of A Summer Night

At the forty-eight-minute mark, I asked my boyfriend, "Is it me, or has absolutely nothing happened in this episode?" And by way of an answer, he just snored softly, his head lolling back onto his shoulder.

And then, almost as if the writers had the same realization, they tack on this scene with Carlos and a craggy-faced man at a bar. Carlos slides the man a fat envelope full of bills, and the man agrees to "take care" of Edie, thereby character-assassinating all the nice-guy goodwill Carlos built up over the last two seasons. Also, I wouldn't have thought Fairview was a big enough town for two hired killer storylines? Oh, Fairview.

Bree is still, still, frantic to get her hands on Katherine's pie, and then she remembers that she still has the keys to Katherine's house in her vault of all her neighbors' keys (as evidenced in Season 2, Episode 14). The key she selects is marked "Delfino," which I guess means that Katherine & Ko. moved into Mike and Carlos's old bachelor pad? (Which in turn means that the old Mrs. Simms Edie manipulated into evicting Carlos from Mike's old house is Katherine's ailing aunt, the family's beard for returning back to Fairview. And the very fact that I remember all these Desperate minutiae makes me feel the sore need to get out more, maybe volunteer at a soup kitchen -- just like the one where Andrew ate when he was homeless in Season 3!

Bree lets herself into Katherine's house, and while she's trying to cut the "I Just Knew Bree Would Try This" lock off of Katherine's recipe box, Katherine and family return home, and Bree overhears a nasty three-way family battle. Dylan is steaming about a tidbit Mrs. McCluskey dropped for no earthly reason other than to midwife this plot along, about how Dylan's bio-dad used to visit her when she was little, which apparently contradicts the story Katherine's been telling her daughter all her life about how Daddy is a monster who took off when she was a baby. Katherine Dynasty-slaps Dylan across the face, and Dylan and her sexy post-slap mussed hair go stomping off. With Bree still listening in, Kath hisses at husband GynoMal that it's time they start coming up with better lies to feed Dylan about her dark, forgotten past. Really? Another amnesia storyline? Great. Bree scampers off to dish to Orson that she's unearthed Katherine's secret ingredient, and it has nothing to do with pies.

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Desperate Housewives

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