Desperate Housewives

Episode Report Card
M. Giant: C+ | Grade It Now!

Okay, who are all these people again?

We open on Katherine, staring out her window and flashing back on her first marriage to the man who was apparently Dylan's father, a wife-beating asshole named Wayne Davis whom she apparently hit back at one point. Like, with some club-like item that knocked him straight to the floor. But before we can get much more detail than that, there's a knock on the door: Susan, Bree, Gabby, and Lynette have arrived with muffins and jam, claiming to be there to offer to help out. Katherine realizes everyone knows Adam left, and she's not in the mood to satisfy their morbid curiosity, so she shows them the door. On her way out, Bree says she's surprised to hear that Adam was the one who left. Katherine teases her with a "to tell you the truth...I don't want to talk about it." Gracious in defeat, Bree advises her to let her feelings out, and Katherine agrees to do that. So she walks out into the woods, sits on a rock, and starts crying over a makeshift grave marked with round stones in the shape of a cross. I should add that Mary Alice is blathering throughout, but as usual she isn't saying anything helpful.

After the credits, Mary Alice narrates Wisteria Lane's street-wide going-to-church ritual, which the Scavos apparently always sit out. But seeing everyone heading out of their houses in their Sunday best like it's even more 1958 on this street than usual, Lynette decides to suggest that the fam go to church. Tom's not up for it, since he grew up going to St. Anthony's every week and feels like he's done his time. But Lynette didn't, and says she has questions about God and Jesus. So one of the Ps puts an end to the discussion by volunteering what he knows about the latter: "He's the guy who helps out Santa Claus." Tom knows when he's beaten; looks like the Scavos are going to church. It was a little early for that Pacifico anyway, dude.

Orson and Bree are off to church, spouting exposition about Bree's chances of getting to chair the Ladies' Auxiliary committee over the other frontrunner for the position, a Peace Corps vet named Edna Fletcher. As Orson installs Benjamin's car seat, Lynette comes up all dolled up in a dress and wig to break the news that she'd like to go to church with them. Bree excitedly offer to let the Scavos follow them in their car, and Lynette heads off to collect the brood. "By the way, what am I now?" she wonders. "Presbyterian!" Bree answers happily. One of my very favorite denominations to say, right after "Episcopalian."

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Desperate Housewives




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