Desperate Housewives

Episode Report Card
M. Giant: C+ | Grade It Now!

Gabby arrives at her Catholic church after the end of 9:00 mass, wanting to talk to the priest. He's been expecting her to come by to, you know, work through her grief at her husband's death (which we learn occurred just two weeks ago on the show, as though time has any meaning here), but Gabby just blithely blows right into her request to have the priest marry her to Carlos. "Does Tuesday work for you?" He recovers from his shock and disapproval just enough to get her to agree that if he marries her to Carlos, she has to stay married to him for the rest of her life. "But if I don't," she caveats, "I promise to change religions." The priest thanks her for that, but he stops short of asking of they can just skip ahead to that part.

Susan dumps a cookie tin of receipts out for her young, allegedly handsome cousin, who's helping her with her taxes. He's not impressed with her filing system, but he helps himself to the stale Christmas tree-shaped cookie that's managed to survive, so I don't know what he's bitching about. Especially since he recently lost his job anyway. He shares some backstory about this develop having something to do with having shtupped the boss's daughter, and Susan, creeped out, leaves him to it. Oh, cram it, Judgy. I didn't see a single W-2 in that mess, so, glass houses.

Lynette's at Bree's church with her family, in the pew in front of Bree and Orson. After the sermon but before the next bit, Lynette raises her hand for a question, much to Bree's horror. The minister calls on her, and she asks, thanks for all that talk about God's love, but what about all the evil in the world? The minister falls back on the old "free will" question. Lynette concedes the point. It's like she never even went to college; this is freshman dorm philosophy 101. She follows up with a toughie: what about the tornado? You know, that natural disaster that left Wisteria Lane all but unrecognizable for hours. Rather than getting into it during the service, the minister invites her to come to Bible study that week, and Lynette accepts. Bree looks like she wants to sink into her pew.

Katherine and Dylan knock on Susan's door. Dylan's there to study with Julie, and Katherine's there to apologize to Susan for her earlier rudeness and present Susan with a nice little houseplant to kill. They both come in, and Cousin Tim recognizes Katherine as "Mrs. Davis" from when he was "Little Timmy," apparently staying in Fairview years ago during band camp. Tim is surprised at how grown-up Dylan is, and even more surprised that she's going to be eighteen next week. Creepy silence. Catching the snap, Susan screams upstairs, "JULIE, DYLAN'S HERE! STUDY TIME!"

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Desperate Housewives




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