Desperate Housewives

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Julie and Susan are visiting Mike in rehab, and having some decent banter. Susan wants Mike to talk to Tim about their taxes, so she calls Tim at the house and freaks out when she hears a giggling woman in the background. It's obvious that Tim is entertaining a lady friend, in the naked sense, but it's equally obvious that it's not Dylan, since we don't see her face. Tim hangs up on her, and Susan bails on the visit. Enjoy your rehab, Mike!

Carlos appears to be home from the hospital, and Gabby's cooking him some "beef stew," with secret ingredients like dog food and dishwater. Oh, and the most important secret ingredient of all, love. He woke up from his nap feeling horny, and, playing along, she tells him, "I'm right over here." He heads toward the sound of her voice, unaware that she has opened the oven door, causing him to bark his shin. Next she pushes a chair into his path, and then guides him into a wall. Oh, I'm already looking forward to the Mr. Magoo levels of humor this storyline will afford us. Carlos finally figures out that she's pissed off, and even if he hadn't, the way she starts pelting him with fruit while yelling at him for lying to her would have clued him in. He admits he shouldn't have lied, but says he just hoped that if he gave her a few months to get used to the idea of his blindness she might not leave him. "Do you really think I'm that shallow?" she asks, surprised. Well, duh. Does anyone not? Carlos flinches from what he thinks is another fruit coming his way, but says that since he's poor and blind, he's not exactly her type any more. Gabby's still pissed, but insists that she loves him and plans to spend the rest of her life with him. They make up, but Gabby's still going to let him dig into the stew. Glad she's realizing that the new dynamic can work, as long as she's willing to use his disability to exact petty revenges on him and take advantage of him in novel ways. Which, obviously she will be.

Susan rushes into her house, yelling at Tim, "Get off that poor girl right now!" Tim raises up, from the bed, revealing...Dylan! No, obviously not; it's only Katherine. Wait, Katherine? "I finished your taxes," he reports to Susan.

After the ads, Susan is so busy being shocked by this scene that she nearly misses Tim's reference to "old feelings" between him and Katherine. Yes, apparently Katherine was Cousin Tim's first. Scandalized, Susan storms out: "If anybody needs me, I'll be at the mall, buying sheets." Whoa, Susan, calm down; Tim hasn't told you how much your tax refund is yet.

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Desperate Housewives

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