Next we see the back of a short brunette female making her way across some lawn, employing a very weird and lopsided mince-walk. I think it's Gabby, trying not to let her spiked heels sink into the lawn, though it could also be Deenie, struggling with her scoliosis brace. Oh okay, it's Gabby, here to visit Gardener John in his natural habitat. GJ asks if Gabby got his messages, which she did, but she wanted to talk to him in person because she has some "potentially upsetting news" to deliver. GJ assures "Mrs. Solis" that he can handle it. So Gabby blurts, "I'm pregnant, and it might be yours!" Watch as GJ descends into rage, kicking and throwing bags of lawn cuttings like a gorilla in a cage with oh so much Samsonite luggage. Listen as Gabby peeps and screams at such a sight as this. GJ asks how he is going to afford child support since he can barely afford his new dirt bike. Really? I thought his lawn business was doing so well he could afford to float Gabby a credit card? Gabby tells him to relax; the baby may not even be his. Then why, GJ wonders, did she tell him? According to Gabby, she told him because she wanted to protect him from Carlos, and from GJ's parents. It seems like keeping the whole thing quiet would have protected him just as adequately? Gabby: "John, something like this could ruin your life. That's why you have to keep quiet about our affair. There's no point in letting a catastrophe bring both of us down." For which John thanks her sincerely. And to which Gabby responds with a cool "Forget about it," even though I'm pretty sure her motivations for keeping John quiet aren't 100\% selfless. John sinks down to sit beside Gabby on the lawnmower and says, defeated, "I should have worn a condom." Gabby: "Yeah, that would have been helpful!" First of all, where was Gabby in the middle of all that unprotected sex? Yes, GJ should have worn a condom, but she could have just as easily demanded that he wear one. What, did she just close her eyes the whole time and think of England? I know, I know. Gabby was on the pill! Or at least she thought she was. But there are still such things as STDs, etc. that prompt many sexually active adults to sheath their privates in protective layers of latex. Though maybe Gabby was banking on GJ's untouched youth to protect her from such unpleasantries?
Episode Report CardEvany: A | 533 USERS: B-
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