Meanwhile, Gabrielle is helping a woman, "Helen," whom we've never seen before, with her dress. Helen thanks Gabrielle for being nice enough to hire her son, Miguel, as her gardener. I must admit that this scene made no sense to me at all for about twenty-five seconds, because, to me, Miguel's mother is Pilar Lopez-Fitzgerald, who currently has her hands full on Passions, since: her daughter Theresa just gave birth to a premature baby that might be her own baby with her ex-fiancé (whom she seduced by dressing up like his wife and climbing into bed with him) but that also might be the baby of said ex-fiancé and his current wife, since Theresa did kidnap their surrogate and lock her in a closet and get herself implanted with their embryo; Pilar's son Luis, who is very good-looking, and his girlfriend Sheridan are planning to get married again despite the fact that the last time they tried to get married, someone painted Sheridan's wedding ring with poison and then blew up the boat they were vacationing on, which left Sheridan stranded on an island in the Bermuda Triangle, and with amnesia, which she's over now, although what she still doesn't know is that the girl that Luis allegedly knocked up while Sheridan was on Bermuda wasn't actually pregnant at all and that the baby the knocked-up one is raising is actually Sheridan's baby with Luis that she thinks was killed when the person who kidnapped it drove off a bridge; Pilar's husband, who abandoned the family, like, fifteen years ago, is back in town and he's married to Sheridan's allegedly dead mother -- although no one knows she's Sheridan's mother -- and Pilar is really peeved with him for abandoning her and the kids; and, finally, Pilar's youngest daughter really, really hates her for making her live in Mexico. Anyway. What show am I recapping? Right, with all the housewives. It's Gabrielle's pleasure to have Miguel in her employ. And by "employ," I think she means, "vagina." Ew, I can't believe I actually just typed that. I'm extremely sorry. Gabrielle coyly mentions something about Miguel's relationship with Danielle Van De Kamp, and Helen spills that their young love is not long for this world, because Danielle wants a relationship and Miguel sorta doesn't. "You remember what it was like dating teen age boys," Helen adds. And Gabrielle, indeed, does. If by "dating," you mean -- um, never mind.
Episode Report CardJessica: B+ | 580 USERS: C+
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