Previously: Susan gave Ian the heave-ho (emphasis on ho) the very instant Mike woke up from his coma; Jackie from Roseanne accused Orson of murdering his wife, and Carlos made Gabby waffles.
Okay, so this week's MAVO theme is "Confession is good for the soul." And the confessional poster girl? Edie Brit. Edie walks into Saint Timothy's church and smiles at "Father O'Malley," whom she's apparently been scandalizing with her hair-raising confessions ever since she was a little girl. But I thought she told Julie that she started out as a good girl? And hey, isn't Edie a Methodist? But whatever storyline inconsistencies we have going on here are totally obliterated by the outfit Edie's wearing in this scene: it's a beautiful heather-grey knit suit with a flared-hem skirt that is so beyond awesome that it blasts all other thoughts besides "wow" from the mind. What is that, an asymmetrical row of sweet wood buttons? Oh sweet suit, marry me! I believe a holy union between me and clothing is legal in like Hawaii, no? Yes?
We montage back on Edie's past confessions: the time she "seduced the cable guy," her "affair with a folk-singing duo," how she "let Rabbi Littman get to third base." Through the mesh of the screen, we can see that the outfits Edie has selected to wear to these individual confessions are all pretty insane. For the cable-guy confession, she's wearing a baseball cap cocked high on her head, "gee Wally" style. For her detour into the folk singing threeway, she's wearing a gingham check blouse with pigtails. And for her slip with the rabbi, she's wearing a huge white Kentucky Derby hat with a strapless dress. Throughout all the costume changes, however, the diamond cross around Edie's neck remains consistent. MAVO tells us how, after each scintillating confession, the good Father always told Edie to get out there and "sin no more," and yet "temptation seemed to be everywhere." Edie and her wonder-suit stroll into Mike "Temptation" Delfino's hospital room, and she dazzles him with a smile. Seriously, you could rob a bank in that suit. You wouldn't need a gun; people would take one look at the soft, gentle knit of that suit -- oh god, it's cashmere, right? -- and hand over everything they had.