Desperate Housewives
Sweetheart, I Have To Confess

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Sweetheart, I Have To Confess

The cops pull up at the cast of Roseanne's house. Gary is out front, watering the lawn. Ghostbuster Ridley shows Gary a photo of Monique, and Gary looks stricken. He immediately admits that they were "sleeping together," and then asks G. Ridley if they "can do this somewhere else." Suspicious Jackie watches the whole scene unfold from inside the house.

The Gablos is done with the sex. Gabby ham-fistedly leads the conversation to talk of a reunion tour ("it's not like we're going to find this kind of passion with anyone else"). Carlos: "Baby, if you knew how long I've been waiting to hear you say--" but before he can finish, he busts into laughter. He knows that Gabby seduced him because of the job offer. Gabby tries to feign enthusiasm over the "news" of his new job. Carlos: "Gabby, please. You're a model, not a model-slash-actress." Anyway, he set the whole thing up so that he could get her on the line and then reject her himself -- you know, give her a taste of her own medicine after that super shitty move last week with the waffles and the sex flaunting. Carlos, standing to put on his boxers: "You don't get to screw around on me, take my money, and then walk away without a scratch, I want you hurting, baby." Revenge, it appears, is a dish best served hot and steamy and between the sheets. Gabby comes around to Carlos's side of the bed, and they yell there, back and forth. She shoves him, and since he's off-balance what with trying to put on his pants...

...Carlos flies right through the second-story window. Gabby freaks out. (Maybe she does still love Carlos? Oh, it's all so very complicated, and boring.) She runs over to the window, and there's Carlos, cut up and lying on top of the bushes below. Gabby runs and calls 911, and while she's on the phone, she looks outside again, and Carlos is gone! It's an ominous Halloween sort of moment, but with no real payoff: Carlos just walks through the front door, pieces of glass stuck all over him, and says, "Oh yeah, it's on."

And yes, pour the margaritas, because it's time for the MAVO send-off. The theme, once again, is "confession." Down at Saint Timothy's, an older, Bea Arthur sort of woman comes out of confession, looking upset. MAVO says something about how sinners who confess expect "absolution," but that "not all sinners are worthy of forgiveness."

The camera pans across Snora, who's huddled at the base of her couch, crying. MAVO: "Most who unveil hidden agendas deserve the condemnation they receive."

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Desperate Housewives

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