Gabby invites Hot Mom to go shopping so that they can put all the "tension" behind them. And then, maybe after they've had some fun, they can sit down and talk surrogacy. Hot Mom is delighted!
Gabby pulls up at a hotel. Hot Mom is confused: "Where's the boutique?" Gabby: "Umm, oh. It's, uh, in the hotel lobby." Gabby pretends to get out of the car, but as soon as Hot Mom's door closes, Gabby master-locks the car (which is sort of ridiculous since it's a convertible, but I guess I don't see any buttons for Hot Mom to manually lift). Hot Mom is even more confused! Gabby explains: she doesn't actually want to talk about surrogacy at all. Rather, she wants her mom to check into this hotel, and then, in the morning, check out, get on a plane, and never see Gabby or Carlos ever again. Gabby pulls out some bills, crumples them up, and throws them at Hot Mom: "I'm pulling out. Watch your boobs."
When Lynette and Tom arrive at home, Bree sprints out of her house to greet them. Bree sees that they have the kids and breathes a gigantor sigh of relief. Then she starts babbling: "I'm so sorry! I don't know what happened! I was in the kitchen, cleaning up after making cookies, and I looked in the living room, but they were gone!" One of the P-twins tells Lynette, "We tried to tell her we were going, but she was asleep." Bree instantly and vehemently denies that she was sleeping. The other P-twin insists that Bree was too lying, at which point Lynette decides to side with Bree: "All right, that lie just lost you another week of TV and videogame privileges. That's two...do you want to keep talking and lose more?" The kids shake their heads nonono. Lynette: "Then apologize to Mrs. Van de Kamp." They sullenly fork over some "sorry"s, and walk into the house. Bree -- looking kind of guilty, and also completely worked -- tells the boys, "No harm done." Those drunks, they sure are crafty! Actually, this scene is kind of excruciating. Bree is truly a sad, sad sack these days. Lynette apologizes to Bree and gives her a huge hug, and then heads in to the house, giving Bree one final funny little "agh" sound and patting her heart, thereby effectively and succinctly summing up the spectacular relief of disaster so, so narrowly averted. Hip, hip Felicity!
Carlos, carrying Hot Mom's luggage. Ooh, I love this scene! Okay, so: Carlos is giving Gabby a hard time for kicking Hot Mom out of the house: "If you ask me, it was a pretty crappy thing to do. Did you even slow the car down before you pushed her out?" Wow, and I be he doesn't even know about the crumpled bills Gabby threw at her like her mom was some kind of dime-store hooker! Gabby snipes that the only thing Carlos cares about is Gabby's Mom's womb (though she doesn't quite say it like that). Carlos super-earnestly describes Hot Mom's offer as "very generous," which whips Gabby into a super rage: "The only reason she offered up her dusty womb is because she's screwed!" Whee, "dusty womb"! That's actually my DJ name. Gabby explains that the only reason her mom made the offers is because the "sugar daddy" beau is out of the picture, and Hot Mom needs money and a place to stay: "Trust me, if she carried our child, we'd be footing the bill for years." Carlos: "I think your hatred for her is clouding your judgment." Gabby: "Maybe! But you don't know her like I do." Carlos stares at Gabby for a long while, and then asks her if she ever told her mom about all the stuff that happened, back when Gabby ran away from home fifteen years ago. Gabby's voice gets super-quiet, and she tells him, "It wouldn't have done any good." Carlos keeps pushing her, so she tearfully unloads on him: "Because she knew exactly what was going on with Alejandro, and she chose to look the other way." But maybe Hot Mom would have done something, Carlos counters, only Gabby ran away before she had the chance. Gabby, totally crying now: "There was a chance she wouldn't have believed me, and that would have hurt a lot worse than anything he ever did to me." Carlos's face softens, and he goes over and hugs Gabby. Carlos: "She's your mother and she loves you. I know it's been a long time, but maybe you could talk to her now." Gabby sits there, sad, for a second, and then gets up: "I'm giving her luggage back to her. That's the best I can do." Aww. That hit me right in my weak, weepy girl eyes.