George sets himself up with a rolling, amplified karaoke machine and starts singing a medley of apology songs out in front of Bree's house. Bree, who's throwing a dinner party for a bunch of people I've never seen before, is understandably saddened by this interruption, so she does what any hostess worth her organic sea salt would do: she dismantles George's singing machine with one blast from her shotgun. But George doesn't give up! He keeps "Operation 'I'm So Sorry'" in gear by...riding his bike up and down in front of Bree's house, an approach which doesn't work with seventh-graders, let alone Bree. Later, Bree visits Dr. Goldfine in the hospital. The doctor's fall from the OVERPASS may have broken many bones, but it hasn't broken his spirit: the fine doctor is convinced that his attack was a random act of violence, and that the person who tried to kill him was deluded and not at all trying to target Dr. Goldfine. But when Dr. Goldfine makes an offhand comment about the attacker's blue bicycle, a look of fear and deep revulsion crosses Bree's face. She's seen that bicyle! Cut to George's house being searched by the police. George runs away before the police can catch him, and he gets a room in the hotel that just happens to be hosting an event that Bree is chairing. George has an elevator man hand Bree a note, in which he pleads with her to come visit him in his room for one final goodbye (re: the many pills he's just ingested). Bree calls the police, but before she can report this latest George development, the police tell her that their search of George's house has revealed evidence that George killed Rex! This news throws Bree into a K-hole of grief. Weeping, and looking very pretty in a plunging white Marilyn dress, Bree goes up to George's room and essentially does nothing as George quietly overdoses. Meanwhile: Susan tries to get closer to her bio-dad (Addison Prudy) by, surprise, applying for a job at his store. But when he misinterprets a weird comment she makes about the loveliness of his eyes as "flirting," he tries to give her the boot, convinced that his suspicious wife has hired Susan as a plant to try to tempt him into infidelity. The grossness of the situation freaks Susan into blurting out that she's his daughter, which promptly gives him a heart attack. Later, at the hospital, he tells her he doesn't want her in his life because his marriage can't handle the strain of the sudden appearance of his love-child. But Susan doesn't give up! When Mrs. Prudy arrives, Susan gives her a cover story about being Mr. Prudy's guardian angel. And as Susan goes to leave, she hugs Mr. Prudy and whispers that she's going to keep trying to forge some kind of relationship with him. Lynette catches Bossy Boobs having sexual relations with Receptionist Stu. She uses the knowledge to blackmail Bossy into being "nicer," but instead Bossy just fires Stu. Lynette gets in touch with Stu and somewhat accidentally informs him of his legal rights as a sexual harass-ee. Stu files a lawsuit against Lynette's firm, and the settlement is so fat that the head of the company has to fire pretty much everyone...except Lynette, who now has Bossy's old job. In Bossy's parting words to Lynette, she gloats over the long, long, long hours Lynette will be logging from here on in, which seems to bode not at all well on the "seeing the family ever again" front for Lynette. Carlos gets out of jail early, thanks to some lobbying from a group of prisoner-helping Catholics. In the process, though, Carlos appears to have got himself some religion, and now he's praying all the time, going to church, and fraternizing with a somewhat attractive nun. Gabby's alarm bells start a-ringing, and she tries to send "Sister Mary Hotpants" packing, but the good sister is here to stay...until the next episode, at least.
Want more? The full recap starts right below!
Previouslies: Susan had a dad, Lynette got hired by a man named Ed (the boss of Bossy Boobs), Carlos promised to change his ways, and Bree dumped George.
MAVO: "Anyone who'd ever been to a party at Bree Van de Kamp's thought of her as the perfect hostess, because Bree knew how to take care of her guests." Over a flashback of dinner parties, we see a parade of people I don't recognize having a ball at Bree's dinner table. MAVO: "Her dinners all were served promptly, her liquor always flowed freely, and her anecdotes were always enjoyable." Though I'm not entirely convinced about the "enjoyable anecdotes" part: certainly the sausage dinner (where Bree blurted to her son and the minister that Rex was into S&M) was a shade uncomfortable, as was the famous "Rex cries after he ejaculates" dinner party.
In any case, back in the now, Bree is serving coffee at the end of one of her triumphant dinner parties, and she is looking fabulous in pearls and a coral, fitted, lacy cocktail dress with spaghetti straps. MAVO: "But on this night, the perfect hostess was about to find herself in a very imperfect predicament." A woman -- who (like all the other guests at this dinner) I don't remember ever seeing before -- shushes the table and tells everyone that she hears strange music. Bree puts down the coffee pot and heads over to the window to check it out and...uh oh. It's George, out on the lawn, standing in that particular wide-legged musical-theater stance, and singing "Don't Give Up On Us, Baby" into a microphone. Apparently, George has some kind of karaoke rig linked up to a huge speaker propped on a van behind him. Bree's face screws up in fury...
...and then Bree turns and smiles at her dinner guests and excuses herself as she dashes outside to confront George. George, still amplified: "We had a tiff, I upset you, now I'm just trying to make things right again!" Bree: "It was not a tiff. We broke up. It's over." George, singing again: "We can still pull throughhhhh!" Ha. Bree threatens to call the police and stomps back inside, and George yells that if she calls the police, he's going to come right back and start singing again because he wants her to hear the "whole medley." Uh oh. Inside, all of Bree's guests are up form the table, standing in the foyer and looking at Bree inquisitively. Bree shoos them back to the table with a promise that "dessert is about to be served." Her guests heading back to the table, Bree lurches upstairs, pulls a gun case out from under her bed, feeds a bullet in to the shotgun and then loads the chamber with one hand. Hot! Outside, George is singing, "I really lost my head last night, you got a right -- " but just then Bree leans out the upstairs window and shoots George's speaker into oblivion. George, who clearly isn't sure if the bullet was meant for him or the speaker, looks up at Bree in hurt confusion, but Bree smiles back at him with satisfaction. MAVO: "Yes, Bree knew how to take care of her guests, especially those who weren't invited." And roll the truncated credits!