All the ladies -- Lynette, Bree, Edie, Gabby, and Susan (still in her cowboy hat and still looking clam-happy) -- are sitting around the poker table, drinking an assortment of wine and beer. Poker night, yay! Lynette says that this is her last hand, and then she has to head back into work to look over a proposal she left on her desk. Lynette: "I have to go over it tonight or You Know Who is going to have my head." Lord Voldemort? No. As all the ladies chime in together, it's "Nina!" Ha! Bree: "You know this 'gainful employment' thing is really starting to cut into our social life." Lynette: "Well, if one of you would just agree to raise my kids, I wouldn't need a job. Any takers?" Edie laughs wryly. Lynette: "Yeah, well, I didn't think so." Also, how would having someone else raising her kids enable Lynette to stop working? Not having kids around doesn't negate the need for paying the mortgage, and I don't still don't think Tom's in any mood to go back to work since Lynette maneuvered him out of a job. But whatever, it's good to just have the ladies all in one room, they truly are nice, funny, and relaxed together, and the show really sings when the gang's all there.
Edie to Susan: "Speaking of child abandonment, when are you going to tell your father that he has a bouncing middle-aged baby girl?" See? What I mean? Funny! Susan, beaming, says she's going to tell him soon, but that she's going to "ease into it." Gabby, looking over her cards, asks, "How do you ease into 'Hi, I'm your illegitimate daughter'?" Gabby, by the way, is rocking an awesome Beach Blanket side-pony fastened by rubber band featuring the kind of pink plastic orb favored by five year-olds. Susan (looking pretty crazy): "Actually? There's a Help Wanted sign in the window. So I was thinking about getting a job there. And you know, he'd get to know me, and I'm sure he'd like me, and I'd like him. Then one day he'd say 'You're like the daughter I've never had,' and I'd say, 'Well actually, now that you mentioned it....'" Oh my god, did I call that Help Wanted sign or what? The ladies respond to this idiotic plan with the wall of silence it deserves. After a few beats, and some meaningful glances, Edie says, "Well, okay, I'll go first. That is the most idiotic plan I've ever heard of." Susan, looking hurt, asks why, and petulantly takes off her hat. Edie: "Because it all hinges on him responding to your personality. And let's face it, you are an acquired taste." Lynette chastises Edie for her meanness and tells Susan that she's sure Susan's dad is going to like her. But then Bree warns Susan that she just hopes Susan isn't expecting too much from the relationship, and that maybe the only thing they share in common is DNA. Susan agrees, but says she just needs to find out if there's "something there": "I've always wanted a dad, I mean, I know not having one affected me." Gabby: "Of course it did. Everyone needs a strong male role model." Edie: "No, they don't. I grew up without a father and it didn't affect me one bit." The "Oh Edie, You Slut" music swells as Lynette puts some chips into the pot and absently asks, "Edie, how old were you when you lost your virginity?" Edie: "Point well taken."