Edie to Susan: "Speaking of child abandonment, when are you going to tell your father that he has a bouncing middle-aged baby girl?" See? What I mean? Funny! Susan, beaming, says she's going to tell him soon, but that she's going to "ease into it." Gabby, looking over her cards, asks, "How do you ease into 'Hi, I'm your illegitimate daughter'?" Gabby, by the way, is rocking an awesome Beach Blanket side-pony fastened by rubber band featuring the kind of pink plastic orb favored by five year-olds. Susan (looking pretty crazy): "Actually? There's a Help Wanted sign in the window. So I was thinking about getting a job there. And you know, he'd get to know me, and I'm sure he'd like me, and I'd like him. Then one day he'd say 'You're like the daughter I've never had,' and I'd say, 'Well actually, now that you mentioned it....'" Oh my god, did I call that Help Wanted sign or what? The ladies respond to this idiotic plan with the wall of silence it deserves. After a few beats, and some meaningful glances, Edie says, "Well, okay, I'll go first. That is the most idiotic plan I've ever heard of." Susan, looking hurt, asks why, and petulantly takes off her hat. Edie: "Because it all hinges on him responding to your personality. And let's face it, you are an acquired taste." Lynette chastises Edie for her meanness and tells Susan that she's sure Susan's dad is going to like her. But then Bree warns Susan that she just hopes Susan isn't expecting too much from the relationship, and that maybe the only thing they share in common is DNA. Susan agrees, but says she just needs to find out if there's "something there": "I've always wanted a dad, I mean, I know not having one affected me." Gabby: "Of course it did. Everyone needs a strong male role model." Edie: "No, they don't. I grew up without a father and it didn't affect me one bit." The "Oh Edie, You Slut" music swells as Lynette puts some chips into the pot and absently asks, "Edie, how old were you when you lost your virginity?" Edie: "Point well taken."
Later, Lynette gets off the elevator at work and the lights are all off. As she goes to grab the report from her desk, we see a man, wearing nothing but boxers, dashing up the hall behind her office. Lynette catches the movement out of the corner of her eye and looks up to see Stu, at the doorway to Bossy's office, announcing that he's got two beers he "found in Ed's fridge." He prances into Bossy's office. Lynette's eyes narrow suspiciously, and she slowly walks over. Peeking around the edge of Bossy's doorway, Lynette sees Bossy sitting on the edge of her desk, her legs wrapped around Stu's waist. Stu is kissing Bossy's neck and Bossy's moaning very theatrically. Lynette grimaces and yet...still doesn't look away. Just then, Bossy's eyes open, and she catches Lynette standing there. Lynette looks totally busted for a moment, but then she gets a sly, sly look her eye.