With three suspenseful storylines going strong, this season is certainly wrapping up on a high note. First there's Eddie, the Wisteria Strangler, who overhears Tom and Lynette finding out that Irina's body was found and that the cops want Preston for questioning. Soon enough, Eddie's moving back home, where he tells Lynette his mom will be home from her bender soon enough, and he should be there. She thinks he's sweet, but wants him to return once he's taken care of his mom. Lynette and Tom go to the police station with Preston, and afterward, Tom and Porter take Preston to shoot pool and relax about his guilt over Irina's death. Lynette then overhears the cops saying they found another body: Eddie's mom, Barbara. She heads to Eddie's to tell him the bad news, and he tells her he just spoke to his mom, who's in Florida, and he's going there, too, to check her into rehab. For a moment, Lynette actually buys it and thinks the cops got the name wrong. Then Eddie's sorrowful look registers, and she figures everything out. They are both sad and terrified, and he tells her he wishes she hadn't come over. Then he locks the door and closes the windows up tight. It's the most truly suspenseful moment in this show in a long time, and possibly ever.
Elsewhere, Patrick's still holding Angie hostage, and the reason is apparently that he wants her to build a bomb. Turns out she was an engineering major, and after all these years he can't build a bomb on his own to go bomb those clear-cutters in Oregon. Gaby comes in a couple times, wanting Angie to help her make lasagna for Carlos's birthday, since he admits after eleven years that hers is gross. When she gives the lasagna to Angie to try, Angie slips a note into it and then asks Gaby to take it back since she's dieting. Gaby thinks that means she hates it and throws it out. Thankfully, her girls get up and pick it out of the trash for a midnight snack. Celia ends up spitting out the note, which says, "Danny and I held hostage. No cops. Get Nick."
At Bree's, Andrew's not scared of Sam and just wants to make him go away, but Orson suggests a payoff, since money's what he claims he didn't get from Rex. So Bree gives him a huge check and then asks him to leave. He sees through it, though, and says she can't buy him off. He belongs here, with his family. The next thing she tries is to threaten him with her retired cop friends. It seems to work, until he comes back with a threat of his own: Danielle got drunk and told him that Andrew hit and killed Carlos's mother while driving. Unless Bree signs her whole company over to Sam, he's going to tell Carlos and the police.
Finally, in the "Who cares?" department: Susan's still trying to get Mike's finances in order, and it all seems to be going well (she's threatening poor people into either paying up what they can or giving her their clocks, watches, earrings, etc.) until the IRS comes calling for their tax bill. It's apparently a pretty big bill, because Susan's decision ultimately is to move away from Wisteria Lane. They're going to rent out her house and live in a cheap apartment near the school. I can only assume this is going to tie into one of the other storylines in next week's finale somehow, because otherwise... who really cares?
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Want more? The full recap starts right below!
Previously: Eddie killed his mom, but his therapist wanted her to come in, so Lynette went over to find out she's been gone for days. Sam threw a vase and scared Bree. Susan took on Mike's debt, even though he's a big, secretive ass. Angie told Gaby the truth about Danny's real father, Patrick, who came around and hit Nick with a car, then held Angie hostage. Now: We open on Angie handcuffed to a bed as Mary Alice Voices Over that Angie was having trouble sleeping, because she was dreaming about her life choices. We flash back to her decisions to drop out of college, to join a group of ecoterrorists, to fall in love with their charismatic leader (a long-haired Patrick), and to build him a bomb. She knows they were bad choices, says MAVO. How else could she have ended up here with a man she despises? She wakes up and Patrick's standing over her, creeping it up. He says he's admiring her scar, which is "so beautiful." She quickly covers it up with her shirt, but he says she should be proud. Unlike him, she's not so proud of killing a guy. He says it was noble, since it was just one guy compared to the planet. Patrick asks when she stopped loving him, and she tells him she never loved him. He says she's lying, and probably still does love him, and maybe she'd remember if they made love. Angie says they could, but he might not like it when she vomits into his mouth. And neither would the viewing audience, Patrick. Please spare us that. He says he could kill her, but he won't because he needs her for something: He tells her she's going to make him another bomb, but she says he can't make her do that. He says she'll be surprised by what he can make her do. MAVO says she'd made some bad choices in her life, and she now has no choices left. Title card.
We open on a guy we've never seen in a police station as MAVO tells us "Detective John Booth" (that's a stretch for the title, don't you think?) wasn't happy because he couldn't figure out who was killing women in Fairview. He had pored over autopsy photos, read psychological profiles, and interviewed witnesses. But he was no closer to finding a killer, "until one day..." Booth gets a call that some kids came across a woman's body buried in the woods, and he heads out. Cut to a shovel, being wielded by Eddie, of course. He's doing gardening for Lynette. She tells him she went to his mom's to ask her to come to therapy, and he asks what she said. Lynette says she doesn't want to worry him, but his mom wasn't there and the neighbor says she's been gone for days. He thinks for a second and then says this happens all the time with her; she's on another bender and will be back in a few days. Lynette asks if he's sure they don't need to call anyone, and he says she'll turn up sooner or later.
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