Absolutely nothing that matters happens in this episode -- unless you are possibly just now watching your season 1 DVDs. Because this all seems like it would be so much more relevant back then. We are introduced to Beau Bridges, who's apparently the handyman of everyone on Wisteria Lane. He retires, and then dies right off the bat. Then everyone has a memory of him, which plays out via flashbacks. He helped Gaby get to know the other ladies on the street by hosting a poker game at which she did nothing but brag and show off, and then told her that she was a bitch and should go apologize to everyone. He watched Bree and Rex fight and saved the cookbook she was writing that she threw out when Rex made fun of her dream to write it, and then gave it back to her when Rex died so she might write it someday. He made Edie realize her husband was gay, and then when she was single he slept with her. He took an infant Penny out of the car when Lynette had left her there while trying to go back to work, and made her realize that family is probably more important than work anyway. And he made Susan aware of the fact that Karl was a cheat, and then consoled her (by calling her his hero!) after her divorce from Mike. He also was fixing the shingle on her roof when he died. Though, like any good handyman, he finished the job first.
Finally, we get his scene with Mary Alice, which is both the most touching and the most irrelevant at this point in the series. This is where things turn around, because she actually helped him, by giving him a job fixing her vase and then passing his cards along to all of her friends. He was so poor that he'd taped over the hole in his shoe, so she did it out of charity and kindness. And then he came and talked to her -- and she gave him the vase he'd fixed -- just before she killed herself. He felt guilty about not stopping her, and spent the rest of his life making other people's lives better. It was sweet and touching, and even a little tear-inducing. But it seems weird to bring Mary Alice up now like she matters in the scheme of this season. It's clearly just a filler episode until we get to sweeps. Example: In three weeks, everyone's in a catfight! It will be awesome.
No previouslies this week, because either they realize that they'd have to show things only from season one, so we'd know who Mary Alice is, confusing newcomers; or because they just know this has nothing to do with anything and is so standalone that previouslies aren't necessary. Either way, prepare yourself for many blasts from the past and very little having to do with anything. Right, it's the 100th episode and all, so they're trying to pay some sort of tribute to the past, and Mary Alice. And Beau Bridges, apparently.
Speaking of, Beau gets out of his old red truck, as Mary Alice tells us he's the handiest of all handymen, Eli Scruggs. But since he won't be around long, I'm going to go ahead and call him Beau. His customers would tell you there's nothing he couldn't fix, whether a broken vase, a leaky pipe, or a shaky banister. But sadly, this Wisteria fixer is about to break their hearts. He climbs a ladder at Susan's, and Mrs. McCluskey comes to yell at him for retiring; she just got his note. He says he is retiring, because the doctor says he has a "bum ticker." "Bum ticker" is the sort of expression the handiest handymen say, of course. Mrs. McCluskey isn't happy about this development, but he recommends a new, young guy named Toby, who just turned 30. She's not comfortable with strangers, since it took her ten years to trust him. And she likes that he never leaves a mess. She wonders if everyone else knows he's leaving, and he says he put the same note in everyone's mailbox. She thinks there needs to be a party in his honor, but he doesn't want a big fuss. She tells him she'll miss him and walks off. Then he climbs the ladder for the last time. He finishes Susan's shingle, and then quietly has a heart attack and dies. He drops a nail, but it falls off the roof and into his tool box as Mary Alice tells us he did this without making a mess.
Mary Alice tells us it took an hour for someone to find the body laying atop Susan's roof. That someone is Juanita, who sees crows picking at the ball. Less than ten minutes later, the neighbors began arriving, to watch the paramedics and policemen try to figure out how to get the body down. I'd like to know how they do it, but Mary Alice quickly moves on without revealing the secrets of paramedics and policemen of the world. Susan arrives home, looking shocked, as everyone looks on. Mary Alice tells us it took two days for her friends to realize how much this tragedy had affected them. We get a close-up of a deep-in-thought Gaby, who's about to join the other ladies for their poker game. At the poker game, the ladies quickly start discussing sending flowers to Eli's funeral and ask Gaby what she thinks they should contribute. But the strummy music tells us she's already deep into a thoughtful flashback...