Desperate Housewives

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DeAnn Welker: B+ | Grade It Now!
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The Art of Seduction

Previously: Roy told Mrs. McCluskey he loved her -- because she forced him. Robin hit on Katherine. And Carlos and Gaby bribed Ana into going to New York to keep her away from Danny. Because, get it, Danny and Ana are totally Romeo and Juliet. If they end up killing themselves in a big misunderstanding it will be, like, so tragic. Mary Alice Voices Over about Gaby's parenting skills: Basically, it's all rescuing dolls from the garbage disposal and feeding her children cereal for breakfast. Then, to show us how truly stressful it all is, Juanita wants ham with her cereal and she needs three dozen cupcakes for school TODAY. Then Carlos comes in and asks Gaby to pick up his dry cleaning. How will she ever have time to go to the spa? She's all stressed about it until Celia comes in with chicken pox and Gaby says she's never had them. Carlos kicks her out and says he'll take care of everything so she doesn't get them. Dude, she could have at least picked up the dry cleaning. MAVO finishes that the most important thing Gaby's learned as a mother is to RUN. Or "get while the getting was good." Same thing. Title card.

More MAVO, who talks about soap operas and the art of seduction. And, in a clever device, we start on a soap on a TV in Katherine's kitchen. She's cooking breakfast for Robin, who comes in all sexy in bra and underwear and a sexy, silky sheath of a robe. It gets even sexier when Robin talks about hot, hot syrup and then spills some on herself, talks about how dirty she is, then removes her robe and wipes it off her bra then licks her finger. Katherine's about to die because she's so turned on/confused. Then she wakes up from her dream, and is still watching the soap. Robin comes in (in a much less sexy robe), but Katherine's still uncomfortable.

The same soap is on in the Scavos' kitchen, where Lynette's eating cereal. Tom has a great idea for the baby's name: Patricia. But Lynette's already decided it will be named after her aunt Polly. Tom makes a parrot joke, of course. But we all know the baby will be Polly, because Lynette wears the pants. Penny comes bounding down the stairs all smiles, and wonders where her pancakes are. She always gets them on her birthday. Tom and Lynette look at each other all, "Uh-oh," then they try to pretend they had a bigger treat planned instead of admitting they forgot her birthday. Lynette tries to bullshit Penny about how she gets birthday dinner instead of breakfast now that she's eleven, but Penny's not buying it: "You forgot my birthday? Wow."

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Desperate Housewives

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