Previously on Desperate Housewives: you probably know better than I do, since this will be the first episode I've ever seen. Don't worry, though; I've done some research. Now, Susan is the skinny one, right?
We're starting out with some phone-tree hijinks. Susan's calling the ladies to invite them all over for her annual charades party. None of them wants to come, until they hit on the idea of using the event as an excuse to get a few drinks in Katherine and pick her brain. So suddenly they're in, and Susan is only too happy to follow their unanimous suggestion to invite Katherine to join them, oblivious to the fact that her three best friends are using her. Katherine, of course, figures it out right away. Not that being smarter than Susan makes her a total puppetmaster or anything. That comes later.
After the mini-credits, Lynette's mom throws together some homemade mac & cheese and tries to feed it to Lynette. Lynette begs off, saying that she can't keep anything down with all the chemo, and besides, "mac & cheese is halfway to vomit." It seems Lynette's anti-nausea meds aren't working so well. So, like any sixtyish mom, Stella offers to come through with some "kick-ass chronic." Lynette isn't any more receptive to that idea than she was the mac & cheese, so I'm sure that's the last we'll be hearing about it, right?
Over at Susan's, Mike has already built a crib, including a safety latch, which not only will protect the baby, but also serves as a pretext to dis Susan's klutziness. When Susan asks whether the first trimester isn't a little early for this level of prep, Mike says he hasn't even opened either the pink or blue paint that he bought yet. Well, okay then.
When Susan notices that Bree and Orson are just getting home across the street, she heads over, as Bree whispers to Orson about what a hugger Susan is lately. She thinks she's got the subterfuge under control with a strategically-placed grocery bag, but then Susan asks for the number of Bree's OB. Oops. Bree wasn't expecting that. Bree tries to put Susan off, but Susan won't be dissuaded, so Bree goes in and picks a name at random from the yellow pages. Let's hope Bree's phone book is as controlled as everything else in her life.
Adam is out washing his car when a hot blonde jogs up and asks for a drink from his hose. That's not a euphemism. He obliges and watches her jog off, until the mighty stream issuing from the hose in his hand trails off. Because Katherine just turned it off. "I'd say the car's clean enough," she snots, even though it really needs rinsing. There's some sniping about their "history," as Katherine seems grumpy about Adam's flirting and Adam's telling her to let it go, reminding her he's a gynecologist, so he's going to have to talk to women once in a while. "You don't have to bring your work home with you," she snits as she gets in the car and drives off. I really don't want to see what's in his briefcase.