Desperate Housewives

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M. Giant: B- | Grade It Now!
The Game

Outside, Gabby confronts Carlos over his secret engagement to Edie, and says they're done. And she doesn't have to settle for Victor, either. "This waits for no man," she boasts, indicating the dress she's wearing that has even less material than Edie's, even prorating for their height differential. So then Carlos goes inside to confront Edie over her buying herself an engagement ring. "It's been three days, Carlos," Edie eye-rolls. "How long was I supposed to wait?" Edie says Carlos can pay her back later. "Count on it," Carlos assures her darkly.

In the kitchen, Susan is scrubbing herself down in the kitchen, and dressing down Bree about the OB: "When I saw the ant traps on his speculum tray? I thought you and I should have a talk." She wants to know why Bree sent her there. Bree, at a loss, just says she can't tell Susan what's going on, because it's private. Susan's like, "So are the parts of me I think he snapped with his camera phone!" and flounces out of the kitchen to go throw her party.

Carlos gets off his cell phone with, contractor...and sits down, just in time to watch Gabby putting on a big show of flirting with Adam. Carlos ends up putting his drink down hard enough to smash the glass. As for Katherine, her wine doesn't even tremble, which is much scarier. She confronts Adam in the hallway, dropping a mention of Chicago, and all he agrees to do is catch up with her drinks-wise. And then Edie comes up to assure Katherine that it's really all Gabby's fault. Katherine settles in to hear all about Gabby's "reputation." Those of us who didn't actually see the first three seasons might appreciate a little refresher as well, but I don't get one.

Susan and Gabby get ready to pick their charades teams. Susan wants Lynette, which is really just an excuse to provide the setup for an ironic segue in the form of Tom's line: "She's too sick to party." Cut to Lynette, cracking up with the kids in front of Spongebob Squarepants, complete with fake sound effects and no dialogue coming from the TV.

The charades teams are settled: Gabby has Adam (of course), Victor, Bree, and Mike, while Susan has Orson, Carlos, Edie, Tom, and Katherine. And while Susan's giving a lengthy briefing, Julie and Dylan have succeeded in breaking into Katherine's locked room. The game's about to start when a completely loopy Lynette shows up, reminding everyone she's the "charades ninja" by kicking a lamp off a table. Who could have seen this coming?

After the commercials, Bree gets Orson's Two Mules for Sister Sarah in twenty-two seconds. Impressive. ["You think that's impressive, you should see Glark's impression of Gerard Butler in 300. I will never be the same." -- Miss Alli] Tom calls Lynette over from the munchies table for her turn. Lynette totally chokes, but eventually she "recovers" enough to use Edie as a clue for Hang 'Em High. Awkward. Susan calls a break, and Tom goes in search of coffee for Lynette. Andrew comes in to tell Orson he has a phone call, and as Orson leaves, Andrews tips Lynette a thumbs-up, which she happily and cluelessly returns. And then Stella comes and finds Tom in the kitchen, wondering if Lynette happened to bring over any brownies. "Is that a problem?" Tom asks.

Cut to Tom frantically collecting them from everyone. In the process, he bumps into Gabby, who spills her drink on Adam. Which drink she immediately starts trying to wipe off. Katherine comes up to tell Gabby to cut it out, and Gabby says she just spilled her drink on him. "You're trying to make up for it by breastfeeding him?" Katherine snarks. Gabby's dress is pretty low-cut. Things escalate quickly, and it comes out that Edie pretty much gave up the goods on Gabby, including her affair with the gardener. Yeah, that. Victor actually looks up from his Blackberry upon hearing this. "Bree saw you slap your daughter," Gabby blurts. Katherine says this is the last thing she'll ever say to Gabby, and says Dylan's father was a horrible man. "Imagine the worst thing that a father can do to his daughter. What was I supposed to tell Dylan about that, hm?" With tears in her eyes, she says she hopes everyone's satisfied, and walks out. "Oh, my God," Lynette breathes. "Hang 'Em High has three syllables."

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Desperate Housewives




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