Desperate Housewives
Desperate Housewives

Episode Report Card
Keckler: A | 761 USERS: B-
YOU GRADE IT
If It's Brown, Flush It Down

Edie helps Lynette to clean up after the game and admits that her luck with the cards that day was all due to bluffing. Lynette's impressed. "That's the only nice thing I could say about my first husband -- he taught me how to bluff," Edie explains. But not in poker. In bed. She had to fake a lot of orgasms. For some reason, even though they were just lapping up the details of Maisy's sex life, this admission leaves Lynette speechless. Sheesh -- what a prude! Do you mean to tell me that in all these klatsches, "faking it" has never been discussed? Please -- yank the other one. Edie catches sight of Lynette's open mouth, realizes that she shocked her, and tells her she doesn't have to respond. "Thank you," Lynette flutters, and then hedges when Edie casually asks where Susan was that day. "Wow, Tom must be great in bed!" Edie burbles. Lynette, the dumb-ass, doesn't seem to know what she's talking about. "Well, obviously, you have no idea how to bluff," Edie points out. Except, wasn't Lynette supposed to be such a killer in the boardroom? What, she did that all without bluffing? Doubtful. Hey, I work in cookbook publishing and, although we're not exactly mergers and acquisitions, we know how and when to bluff. Sometimes an overly greedy author doesn't need to know that one of her recipes really didn't give everyone at the photo shoot the runs. Lynette hedges some more, but Edie guesses that it has to do with Mike. Lynette is silent, until Edie insists she's going to figure it out sometime. "She's devastated about the breakup and hasn't left the house in days," Lynette admits, and tries to take the pretzel bowl away. Edie pushes the pretzel bowl back on the table and demands to know why Lynette didn't tell her that in the first place. "Because it's personal and something she would only want to tell her friends," Lynette explains. Edie loudly crunches on pretzels and insists that she's Susan's friend. Lynette gives her the eye. "Well, I don't hate her!" Edie amends thoughtfully. Lynette tells Edie that if she wants to hang with them, she has to be nice to Susan. Would this be a good time for Edie to mention that, since Susan burned down her house while spying on her sex life, she might not always feel inclined to be nice to Susan? "Okay," Edie says eagerly. And then, hilariously: "How?" Lynette sits down heavily and explains what being a friend means: "They call, they're sympathetic, they ask about the pain the other person is going through and then," Lynette shrugs the obvious, "they listen." "What if, you want to be sympathetic," Edie says carefully, "but you just can't stand listening to people bitch?" Oh, A-MEN! I mean, seriously. "Then it's good to know how to bluff," Lynette responds.

Desperate Housewives

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