Bushwood. As Rex drones about his doctor not getting why he's not feeling up to par, KimberBree fields looks of derision from the other diners. When Rex asks what's going on with all the looky-loos, KimberBree guesses that Maisy went public with her little black book. Come on, do you mean to tell me that in that whole country club, Rex is the only one that Maisy was freelancing for? Rex wonders if everyone is laughing at them. "No," KimberBree disabuses him. "I think they are laughing at you. I think they feel sorry for me, which is just as mortifying." Rex, just like every other man on this show, asks his wife what they are going to do. She says they are going to ignore it and walk out after dinner with all the dignity they can muster. Rex can't handle the humiliation, and makes a big show of getting up and starting to leave. "Rex," KimberBree hisses, "if you walk out of this restaurant I will scream." Rex stands his ground. "I will scream about your cruelty," KimberBree continues. "I will scream about your infidelity, and just to make sure it hurts, I will scream about your distasteful sexual habits." I love that when she said "distasteful" she looked right at his sexual habit. "You want to know what true humiliation is, you just take one step," KimberBree bites out. She's really angry. ["Plus I would think that, given Rex's distasteful sexual habits, he would enjoy the humiliation." -- Wing Chun] Rex, cowed, sits down again and picks up his menu. KimberBree throws evil smiles at the staring clubbers. "So," she continues brightly to her husband. "What are you having? The veal looks good." Rex just stares at her. KimberBree smiles tightly back. Seriously, don't fuck with KimberBree -- she'll scaloppine your veal without even breaking a nail. You know, my mother watches this show and she's going to read my recap and she's going to fly from Minnesota to San Francisco just to wash out my mouth.
Using Paul's key, Edie and Susan break into Creepy Paul's house. "So, what are we looking for, exactly? An embroidered pillow that says 'I killed Martha Huber'?" On this show? I wouldn't put it past them. It would be like Wisteria's own Madame Defarge. Susan doesn't know, and tells Edie to look for something "suspicious." What would the definition of "suspicious" be, Susan? A cabinet full of cash? A loaded gun? A shot in the gut that goes septic over the antipasti? Edie uncorks a crystal carafe of brandy and sniffs it. "Mmm, smells expensive!" she says, and chugs a bit. I would so do that. Susan gets sniffly over a family picture and asks if Edie believes in evil. "Of course I do, I'm in real estate," Edie says carelessly. Being a San Franciscan apartment-dweller, I say "A-men" to that. Susan elaborates that Creepy Paul's house is just "so cold and creepy. You couldn't tell when Mary Alice was alive -- she just brought such warmth and light," Susan goes on, sitting down on a hutch and stroking the family picture. See, I'm not getting that about Mary Alice. Smug, self-satisfied, condescending, and suicidal I can see, but warm and light? No, I don't think I'd use those words to describe MAVO. As far as I'm concerned, she's the nastiest and craziest of them all. She just sits up there, all omniscient, and acts amused by the horrors she sees below. I wonder how Susan, Lynette, and Gabrielle would feel if they knew that their friend of "warmth" and "light" was smiling over their travails and travesties. Edie says, and I agree, that all she can tell is that Susan has had too much to drink.