Desperate Housewives
The Ladies Who Lunch

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Edie then runs into a table and conveeeeeniently knocks off the "Utah -- Angela's Award Party" tape from the table. Susan grabs it and tells Edie that "Angela" is what Mary Alice used to call herself. Instead of going to either (a) Susan's house or (b) Edie's house and watching it in complete safety and secrecy, Susan insists that they watch it right then and there. Before they can watch anything, a garage door goes up and Edie realizes that Paul is home early. They quickly eject the tape and hide behind the couch. Susan, the idiot, butterfingers the tape so that it falls into the folds of the couch they are hiding behind. Oh girls, hiding behind a couch is never a good thing. Not for Jack and Chrissy, not for babysitters and dogs, and definitely not for these two. Paul walks in, turns on the light, and immediately flops on the couch and picks up a magazine from the coffee table. And I immediately don't buy that. The first thing you do when you walk into your house after being away all day is to pick up a magazine that has probably been on the coffee table for several weeks? Doubtful. Not only does Paul pick up a magazine from the coffee table, he picks up a magazine from the coffee table that was under another magazine on the coffee table. Edie is impatient and quick-thinking, so she jumps to her feet and says hi to Paul, freaking him out. Edie explains that she was just there to return his key. "You're returning my key at 11:30 at night? What the hell is going on here?" Paul asks. Edie agrees that he's right: "We're too old to be playing games." She pushes on his chest and leads him to a corner of the room so that his back is to the couch. Edie adds that she wasn't kidding that afternoon, and that she really would like to keep a key to his place to use when the mood strikes her. Meanwhile, Susan fruitlessly searches in the couch cushion for the tape. Paul smells the expensive booze on Edie's breath and doesn't buy it. Edie throws him against the wall for a liplock, and beckons at Susan to get out. She does, but not after first making a "Yuck" face at Edie and Paul's clinch. Edie continues making out with Paul until she sees Susan's skinny ass crawl across the floor.

Outside, Mike is taking out his trash just in time to see Susan crawl ON HER HANDS AND KNEES down Paul's walk, across the sidewalk, and to the street. Susan? Here's a hint: when you get out of the house, you can then walk upright as our ancestors taught us. After this display, Mike still goes to talk to her. I guess this must be love.

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Desperate Housewives

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