Desperate Housewives
The Ladies Who Lunch

Episode Report Card
Keckler: A | Grade It Now!
If It's Brown, Flush It Down

Edie and her ruched-up nipples gives Paul back all his important house-for-sale documents and tells him not to sweat the change of heart. Edie can't find his house key and figures she must have left it at home. "I'll bring it by tonight," she says, going to her silver convertible But...doesn't she live just across or down the street? I'm not even sure why she bothered to drive her car to Paul's in the first place. Unless she was coming from the office and stopped there before going home. I need to see a neighborhood layout because I swear they've all been able to simply look out their windows and see what others are doing in their yards and stuff. Paul says he'll be away on business that night, so she can just drop it by later. "Or," Edie purrs, flexing her hips, "I can just keep it." Paul is completely flummoxed. "It's a joke, Paul. I know your wife's dead and all, but it's been six months -- lighten up!" Heh.

Felicia the Fabulous trills over to Paul and Edie with something she found amongst Martha's things. It's Edie's necklace. Edie is thrilled and croons, "Oh, you know -- I lent this to Martha three months ago and she told me it went down the drain." Beat. "Awww, I miss how we used to steal things from each other." Hee. I do love Edie when she's not washing cars. Paul tries to get info out of Felicia about Mike as Martha's murder suspect. Felicia stares at him and then laughs that Mike didn't do it. "But they found her jewelry in his garage," Paul reminds us. "But his fingerprints weren't on any of it," Felicia says, looking interestedly at Paul. "Well, that just means he wore gloves," Paul insists as Edie uses her hips to put her necklace on. "So, he's smart enough to wear gloves," Felicia says, drawing closer to Paul, "but he leaves her blood-spattered jewelry around for anyone to find? Please! Is that what you'd do if you killed someone?" Edie looks back at them. Paul hedges and says he just wouldn't trust Mike. Felicia continues to stare at him, her grin widening, before cocking her head and turning to Edie to compliment her on the necklace. She says she knows a jewelry store in Salt Lake City that specializes in antique jewelry. Paul looks wary. "Have you ever been to Salt Lake City?" Felicia asks Edie. "No, I try to steer clear of Utah. It's a little too...conservative for me," Edie responds. I'd respond by saying, "Edie, San Francisco is a little too conservative for you" except that I keep seeing nude bicyclists every time I take the bus home so I'm not sure anymore. Felicia flips her head around to Paul and fixes him with her gimlet eye, asking, "Have you ever been to Salt Lake City, Paul?" Paul answers in the negative. Felicia croons that it's too bad because it's lovely. She used to live there. When she was a nurse. "You should definitely go some time," she says, boring her eyes into Paul's before giggling and strutting away. I'd warn Felicia not to piss Paul off, but I have a feeling she'd slash his throat with a Cuisinart blade before he could hit her with a blender.

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Desperate Housewives




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