Gabby and Vern psych themselves up for a confrontation with Amy's dad, agreeing how they have to do "what's best for the business." So they're in business together now? Vern worries, Vern hesitates. Gabby promises to back him up, and then she shoves him into what appears to be a hotel conference room. Gabby: "Get in there, you spineless 'mo." In the background you can see the fuzzy outline of another poster for the Snowflake pageant, so I guess the pageant has taken over the whole hotel? But then! Amy's dad "Bill" turns around and get this, he's totally fine, like with a "PH," that's right...TOTALLY PHINE! Vern launches into their prepared spiel about how Amy is not quite up to the challenge, and Gabby immediately throws Vern under the bus, totally disavowing his attempts to give Amy the boot. Instead, she offers to come over on Friday night to give Amy private Snowflake lessons. 'Mo Vern rolls his eyes heavenward. And just like that, Gabby has unraveled all the personal-growth momentum she had going after the last two episodes. Whatever.
Mike, looking more animated than we've seen him all season (seriously, it's like someone finally found the on switch), is behind bars, dictating a to-do list to Edie. First of all, he needs her to lend him money to hire a lawyer. Second, she needs to sic this lawyer on the whole wrench issue; apparently the fuzz tested it and it shows traces of Monique's blood. Edie stares at him in shock. He asks her what's wrong. And? She dumps him! Playing like it's been building for a long time: "I wanted to tell you this weeks ago, and I wish I had, because now you're going to think that I'm breaking up with you because of this whole 'blood on the ax' thing." Mike: "Wrench." Edie: "Whatever." In short: Edie thinks they should see other people. Mike, bemused: "You're telling me this on the day I'm put in a man's prison?" (I pretty sure he means "men's prison" here, unless he's getting literary on our asses, referring to himself as like a walking prison of one or something, like he's his own worst trap?) Edie: "Well, I said the timing was bad." While I applaud Edie for being the one sensible woman on Wisteria Lane, I also feel kind of sorry for her, because I still totally believe that she's in love with Mike, and I think she's going to hate herself later for her inability to stick by him. Though I guess she's probably better off. Edie deserves much better than an Eeyore like Mike. Also, Mike doesn't really look all that cut up about the breakup, either.