Desperate Housewives
The Miracle Song

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The Miracle Song

Lynette is in her car, getting ready to drive off somewhere, and she's on her cell phone, talking to "Rita" about getting "all the moms together" for a big witch hunt -- I mean, "meeting." She goes to back out of her driveway when the sad little sister elf rolls up in her wheelchair and serves up, in a mousy little voice, a vast and hearty portion of guilt pudding: turns out Art got fired from his job, someone spit on him at the hardware store, and someone slashed their tires while it was "parked in the church parking lot" (now that's harsh). Sad Elf accuses Lynette of being the one with the dirty mind for interpreting Art's beautiful photo homage to his swim team as inappropriate. Elf reminds Lynette that she's not well, and not strong enough to deal with all the stress. Lynette sort of apologizes. Elf, like many Fairview residents before her, asks Lynette if she's ever for one second considered that she might be wrong. Lynette: "I have kids, okay? Better safe than sorry." Sad Elf: "As long as you're safe, what do you care who's sorry?" Elf rolls away like a slow-moving guilt parade of one, and Lynette sits in her car looking chastened.

Bree's house. Wow, Marcia Cross must be really showing by now, because they need an elaborate gingerbread mansion to cover her bump. Susan's there: would Bree mind cooking a huge gourmet meal for Ian's family on her behalf? Bree's happy to do so. Bree, meaningfully: "Actually, I could probably use the distraction." Selfish Susan hesitates before asking Bree what's wrong. Where's the Susan who selflessly helped Bree scrub that breakdown birthday cake out of the rug? Susan musters up an unfriendly "Oh?" and Bree tells her about the big split with Orson, and Susan almost chokes on the mint she just stole off the Bump-Defying House of Gingerbread.

Bachelor Bungalow. Edie, wearing a strange sky-blue silk halter-muumuu shirt thing, yells at Mike for being stupid enough to try to bury his toolbox out in the woods even though he was fully aware the police were watching his every move. Light 'em up, Edie! I agree, that really was the dumbest move ever. Roommate Carlos is sitting at the table, doing his part in the war for continuity. Mike blusters that he was "just trying to buy [him]self some time." Edie: "Well you may have bought twenty to life." Edie asks Mike to tell her, once again, whether or not he killed Monique, and yet he still can't remember. The police arrive, put Mike in cuffs, and cart him off.

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Desperate Housewives

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