Desperate Housewives
The Miracle Song

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The Miracle Song

Bree and Susan keep arguing. Bree cites Monique's blood being found on the wrench, Susan cites the fact that Monique's teeth were all removed. Also Susan knows, like in her heart, that Mike is no murderer. Bree, in a line that would have been funny if it hadn't been stretched out like an old rubber band by all the previews, says, "We all have convictions. I believe Mike's last one was for manslaughter." Susan challenges Bree to look through Orson's belongings with her, seeing as she's so sure her husband's innocent. Bree icily wonders just what Susan thinks she might find. Susan: "Oh, I don't know, blackmail letters? A necklace made of teeth?" Lynette to Gabby: "We're not going to play cards, are we?" Susan announces that she won't be playing cards with someone who would let Mike take the fall for her guilty dentist husband (that's Bree, for those of you who aren't quite following), and Bree declares that she won't be making dinner for Ian's parents tonight after all. Susan: "Fine, I'll cook it myself." Bree, nastily: "Good! Let me know if there are any survivors." Susan: "And if you take Orson back? You do the same." Oh, snack! Susan storms out, but instead of actually leaving the house, she sneakily slams the door while remaining inside, sneaks around to the kitchen, and...steals the food for Ian's dinner? Nope. She steals the keys to Orson's office off of Bree's collection of spare keys. Sorry, Ian's parents: no home-cooked food for you.

This Rita person's house. All the moms are there, making signs. "SEX OFFENDERS OUT!" one reads, and "PERVERT GO AWAY" and "Pedophilia IS A SIN!" and also "Monsters NOT welcome," any number of which would make an excellent t-shirt. Apparently they're planning on picketing Art's house. Lynette is clearly perturbed by the magnitude of their efforts. One woman, to Rita: "I want the word 'pedophile' to really stand out. Do you have any glitter?" Mrs. McC: "Say 'molester,' it sounds scarier." Lynette tries to backpedal things, like maybe the should hold off on the protests and instead just work on being "vigilant" with their kids, and the women start to turn on her. Glitter Mom: "So you want to wait until he actually molests one of our kids? Whose side are you on?" Mrs. McC stands up for her: Lynette's the one they have to thank for exposing the monster. Why, she's this town's "hero"! Lynette's shoulders slump under the weight of the compliment.

Susan lets herself into Orson's office and starts rifling through his desk. But then suddenly Orson comes out of some side room carrying a pizza box, then settles into one of his exam chairs. Susan tiptoes over to a supply closet, then peers out at Orson. He's got a television set up in there, a football game on, and a Diet Coke nestled in the spit-sink. Looks like Orson's settled in for the night. Really, really sorry, Ian's parents: Susan, it appears, is trapped here for the duration.

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Desperate Housewives

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