Anyway, Ian extrapolates that Susan's delay was all in aide of Mike, and Susan eagerly shows him Orson's records from the mental hospital, arguing that his one-year stay there clearly indicates that he's dangerous. Um, Susan? One year of "psychological depression" does not a murderer make. I'm no psychological psychiatrist, but I don't think depression is linked to violent behavior -- excluding self-injury, that is. Ian offers to get Mike the best lawyer in town. But! Only if Susan agrees to never, ever see Mike again. He tries to put a good spin on this creepy stipulation by saying that he's just afraid that if Susan and Mike spend any more time together, Mike's bound to fall in love with Susan again. Because what man could resist her? Ew, now I'm totally not in Ian's corner anymore. In fact, I want out of the whole ring: this relationship is beginning to make me feel really slimy. Nonetheless, Susan agrees to the plan, thus sealing their doom -- she's totally going to see Mike again: he lives 100 feet away from her! Plus you just know that Susan's going to have some kind of plumbing emergency. In her kitchen, not her pants. This is just the worst plan ever, and it makes Ian seem not so sexy at all. In fact, some people on the boards have even gone so far as to suggest that Ian's showing the first signs of being abusive (possessiveness, an over-controlling nature, temper). And the "What Do We Care, His Wife Is Going to Wake Up, Anyway" music thrums into life.
Vigilante Villa. The whole neighborhood's gathered outside Art's house, and they're carrying an amazing assortment of signs: "Leave Freak" and "Stay off my kid" are my personal favorites. Lynette watches from across the street, still looking guilty. Tom comes out and is wowed by how much the crowd has swelled in just the last fifteen minutes. Lynette tells him to go ahead and say it. Tom, without hesitating: "This is all your fault, you should have listened to me." Lynette, clearly shaken (pretty much her default these past few episodes), argues that there's no way she could have known that the neighborhood was going to devolve into a mob of people holding "Get off my kid" signs. Tom: "You tell people Frankenstein's on the loose, then you're surprised to see the torch-wielding villagers?" Hey, Tom: how's that pizza place coming along?
Tom turns to go inside and put the kids to bed, but he stops when he hears the approaching whine of an ambulance.
Snowflake hotel. Amy screams at Sherrie that she hates her and never wants to see her again. Amy stomps out and Sherrie stands there, looking crushed. Gabby picks up her phone and calls Bill to ask him out. Vern, standing behind her, gives Gabby a disapproving look that indicates he knows exactly what Gabby's done. Bleh. I'm so turned off by this storyline, I can't even come up with a way of telling you how turned off I am by this storyline. Gabby sucks.