Desperate Housewives

Episode Report Card
DeAnn Welker: B | 1524 USERS: B-
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Lying Liars Who Lie

Orson comes home to find Bree sitting at the table, which is filled with all of his stolen goods. She tells him to sit, and demands to know what's going on. She says that when he stole the tape recorder, he said it was a one-time thing -- an impulsive act of revenge. He says it was (except that was at least the third time), but then it started giving him a thrill. Bree can't believe that stealing a ceramic duck would give him a thrill. And, seriously, I want to know where he hid that ceramic duck, because it's not small. It's larger even than last week's salt shaker from Scavo's, which barely qualified as pocket-sized. Bree wants him to talk to a professional, but Orson says a psychiatrist isn't necessary because he's not crazy. He says he'll stop, apologize to everyone, and return everything. She says he will not do that, because she forbids him from entering any of their friends' homes. She'll take care of getting everything back. She leaves the room, but returns to take her purse with her. She can't even trust him. This is the dumbest character "twist" this show has thrown us in awhile, and there are a lot of them.

Swoosie shows up at Susan's, where Susan exposits that she's sorry she sprung this on her last minute, but is glad she could make it. Swoosie's excited at the prospect of a home-cooked meal, but Susan tells her to keep looking because she ordered Chinese. Swoosie's okay with that. She says she was surprised to get Susan's invitation, but Susan tells her school is so formal, and she'd like to let loose and get to know each other. Swoosie takes off her coat to reveal a svelte figure in a nice green dress with a pretty gold necklace. Susan says she's a school marm who lets down her hair and "va-va-va-voom." Swoosie isn't insulted by the marm comment, but chooses to focus on the va-va-va-voom, which she's never gotten before. She tells Susan she also looks nice, but Susan hasn't even changed because Mike was late picking up MJ even though he lives across the street. Swoosie thinks living across the street from her ex is crazy. She clearly knows very little about Wisteria Lane. Susan tells her Mike shacked up with Susan's best friend, "and people wonder why I'm done with men." Susan toasts to getting to know each other better, and Swoosie will drink to that.

Mike comes over as Creepy Dave's packing for camping. Mike wants to apologize for Katherine, but she can't come. She needs to get her taxes done, and thinks she'll be a third wheel. Creepy Dave says that's crazy, since this trip is as much about Katherine as anyone. Mike says it will be better without her so they can burp and scratch and do other guy things. I, for one, cannot imagine Creepy Dave burping or scratching or doing any other typical guy things. Mike says Katherine was never part of the original plan anyway, and Creepy Dave agrees with that under his breath (because he originally was targeting Susan). Mike says he'll see him Saturday and Creepy Dave pretends to be happy. But the ominous music tells us otherwise.

Desperate Housewives

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