Desperate Housewives

Episode Report Card
DeAnn Welker: B | Grade It Now!
Lying Liars Who Lie

Swoosie brings Susan a decaf soy latte, saying it's Susan's favorite. I'm sorry, but people who drink decaf soy do so for either health reasons or allergic reactions, but not because it's their favorite. It's fake coffee and fake milk. No one prefers that to caffeine and milk, right? Yet another reason for Susan to annoy me. [Some people avoid dairy products for moral reasons. Have we ever seen Susan eat a steak? - Z] They start to talk about the other night, and Swoosie invites Susan over on Friday for more of the same. Susan tells Swoosie that she's not into women, but Swoosie doesn't believe it because Susan's wearing big lesbian boots, apparently. Susan says she just thought it was going to rain, and is not gay, lesbian boots aside. Swoosie asks what all of the knee touching, compliments, and kiss were about then. Susan says the kiss was all Swoosie. Swoosie says that Susan obviously is tired of living a lie. She says she was her 20 years ago, with a lesbian inside her trying to get out. Susan says she's more worried about the lesbian outside of her trying to get in. The kids come in so Susan asks if they can teach class and talk later.

Creepy Dave sneaks up on Katherine, who's planting something. He asks if she shouldn't be doing her taxes. She jumps, because he's creepy and sneaky. He tells her how disappointed he is she's not coming camping, but she's sure he's relieved there won't be a girl there to spoil the macho fun. He tells her he saw this as a chance to get to know her better. He lies that Mike has become so important to him because he doesn't have many friends. He says that he's seen a change in Mike ever since Katherine came into his life. He's been happier, with an inner peace. And he wanted to get to know the woman who did that for his friend. She thinks that's nice, and says she'll start packing her fleece. I hope she also packs some sort of self-defense weapon. Katherine asks Creepy Dave if he really thinks she's made that much of a difference in Dave's life. (As if Dave would know, you idiot! He's lived there, for like, a week.) He says absolutely, that Dave would be devastated if he ever lost her. CREEPY.

Susan's showing the class the animals that their classmates drew. She picks up a gazelle and then a rhino. She says she loves rhinos, but Swoosie calls her out, asking if she'd really prefer a grunting, sweaty rhino over a sleek gazelle. Susan says she would appreciate the beauty of the gazelle, but if she were going to Africa, she'd be more excited to see the rhino. Swoosie can't believe Susan hasn't had experience with gazelles, even in college. Then Swoosie asks Susan to just say that this particular gazelle isn't appealing to her. Susan says that's not true, and they're dangerously close to not speaking in metaphor with the classroom looking on. Swoosie asks why Susan was interested in her in the first place, inviting her over and all. Susan admits she wanted a good evaluation. Swoosie's face falls, and she leaves. Mia tells Miss Susan it was nice knowing her. Is it wrong that I sort of blame her for this?

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Desperate Housewives




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