Desperate Housewives

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Lying Liars Who Lie

Lynette's presenting a marketing idea to Lucy and Carlos. The idea is a yacht in St. Bart's, with a boat full of millionaires waiting to be wooed. Lucy thinks it's a great idea, since she hasn't been to St. Bart's since she and Carlos went together. He agrees that was a fun weekend, and says they should do it. Carlos leaves to take a call. Lynette asks Lucy what she was talking about with Carlos, and Lucy says they lived together back in the day. Lynette says that Gaby didn't mention that. Lucy says that's what she loves about Gaby: She has the confidence to be cool with her husband working with an ex "un-chaperoned." The fact that she used that term is way too on the nose for me. I mean, clearly, if she'd use that term she'd realize Gaby offering Lynette for the job was her putting a chaperone in the mix. And the audience didn't need that term to get what was going on, right? So, why have her say it? Do the writers really think we're that stupid? Sadly, I know the answer is yes. But we're not. Are we? [I'm sure some of us are. - Z]

After school, Susan apologizes sincerely to Swoosie. She never meant to lead her on. Swoosie says she was planning to give Susan a good evaluation anyway, so everything's fine. Susan tells Swoosie she needs the job, but would like her as a person even if she didn't. Swoosie tells her to stop, because she doesn't need her pity. Susan doesn't get why people say that, because she loves pity. It means someone's sympathizing with what you're going through, and Susan does. Swoosie tells Susan she never went out and looked for love, so now she's throwing herself at straight women because she's afraid to be alone. How can Susan relate to that? Susan says she has spent her whole life putting herself out there and she's still alone. Not the same. Swoosie agrees with me. Susan says it's not the same because she's alone, but she's not lonely because she has friends. Who are there for her no matter what, which helps. Does Susan have some friends we haven't seen, or is she actually talking about the crazies on Wisteria Lane? I'm not sure they "help," actually. She asks Swoosie to let her be there for her as a friend. Swoosie thinks that would be nice, and asks if Susan's friends hug. They hug, and Swoosie asks what's in the garbage can. It's Susan's lesbian boots.

Gaby's waiting for Lynette when she gets home from work on her first day. She's on Lynette's front porch, with hot cocoa. Lynette plays along, telling Gaby how thoughtful she is, and such a good friend. Gaby asks about Lucy, and Lynette says she's tired and going inside. Gaby asks why she's getting all weird when she mentions Lucy. She wonders if something's going on with Lucy and Carlos. Lynette says no, she's sure Lucy's just affectionate. Gaby's like, "What?" Lynette wonders if Carlos works on the computer at home with his shirt off, too? Gaby is pissed at Carlos and says she'll kill him, but Lynette says she is actually going to kill Gaby first for only hiring her to be a spy. Gaby says Lynette needed a job, so she did her a favor and brought her hot cocoa, so a thank-you would be nice. Lynette says Gaby used her, and that she was at least up-front when she asks Gaby for a favor. Gaby asks if that's really true, "Miss They Offered Me $100,000 A Year." Hee. She says she can tell when Lynette's bluffing from all the years of poker. They agree they're both a couple of users, so Gaby wonders if they're still friends. Lynette asks if she'll still get her salary, and Gaby asks if she still gets her spy. They shake on it. Friends. You know, the great friends Susan was talking about. So helpful and a cure for loneliness.

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Desperate Housewives

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