Cut to the P-twins battling with a sword and a hockey stick out in front of the house. Tom and Lynette are watching from the window, Tom asking what, exactly, it is that he's supposed to be looking for, when Stu pulls up in his car. Stu rolls down his window and offer to take the boys for a ride. Tom to Lynette: "Is he abducting our kids?" Lynette: "Maybe." Tom: "This is crazy!" Lynette: "Why, are you worried they might get in?" P1 tells Stu they're not allowed to talk to strangers, but then Stu tells them if they get in the car, he'll give them some candy, and the twins come a-running. Tom: "Why aren't they running away?" Lynette shakes her head, looking smug. Tom: "This is not the time to be smug; clearly, our kids are idiots." But wait, what's this? Here comes Mrs. McCluskey, knocking on Stu's window. Friendly Stu rolls down his window, and McCluskey tasers the living spit out of him. The boys go running, and Stu goes to get out of the car, but McCluskey tases him again. He falls to the ground, and McCluskey just keeps tasing and tasing him. She even goes so far as to hold him down, which I'm told is a no-no in the tasing world (touching your taser victim is a good way to get jolted yourself). The scene ends as Lynette and Tom run out to try and save Stu. That Lynette! How many rats and receptionists have to suffer before she learns?
At Sophie and Morty's wedding reception. Morty's giving a toast, saying that, starting tomorrow, he's taking Sophie on a four-month cruise around the world (well, so at least we have that to look forward to): I would have been happy with a weekend in Vegas, but [whipping sound]." Everyone claps and laughs, but Sophie is giving Susan some very worried looks. Morty hands the mic over to his "beautiful bride." Uh oh. Here we go. Sophie starts by thanking everyone for coming. So far so good. Then she thanks Morty for helping her to be a "better person." Uh huh, uh huh. Good, good. And then, Sophie starts thanking her "amazing daughter, Susan." If only she'd stopped there! Instead of, say, going on to confess that she's a "horrible person" to the entire audience of wedding guests, and then explaining that the reason she's horrible is because she lied to her daughter about the identity of her daughter's father. For Susan's father was not a war hero, nor was he a mysterious one-night stand. Rather he was thirty-three, he was married, and he was Sophie's boss! And after Sophie told this man she was pregnant, he dumped her and never spoke to her again: "But he gave me my beautiful, incredible daughter, and for that I want to thank Addison Prudy." Susan is shocked. She gasps out an OMG, and then asks Sophie if she knows where her father is now. In front of everyone. Sophie says she doesn't know where Addison is, but swears that if she did know, she'd tell Susan. Then someone in the crowd -- Reverend Hopkins, I think -- volunteers that he knows Addison Prudy. Apparently, he "runs the feed and supply store at Third and Sutherland." Sophie glares at the informant, who says, faintly, "Ah...Prudy's a fairly...common name, of cour--so." Susan asks Sophie if this is true, and Sophie tearfully whispers, "Yes." Susan, standing now: "Are you saying that all this time my father has been alive and just right across town, running the supply and feed store?" Susan yells that she can't believe it, and runs out. After a beat, Julie gets up and follows her mother out. IN FRONT OF EVERYONE. You'd think Susan would be more understanding about her mother's secret keeping, what with Susan's recent secret-keeping snafu with Mike. But no...Susan takes the "sym" out of "sympathetic." Morty to Sophie: "You're not still seeing him, are you?"