Desperate Housewives
The Sun Won't Set

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The Sun Won't Set
In a hurry? Read the recaplet for a nutshell description!

Previously: basically, all the stuff that went down in last week's episode.

Things get started with MAVO telling us all about the piano genius that is Betty Applewrong. In flashback, we see Betty as a young girl playing the piano for her first piano teacher, who "praised her dexterity." Then we see Betty (or her hands, at least) playing for her first college professor, who "applauded her sense of rhythm." And then we see Betty's (hands) playing for her first symphony conductor, who "hailed her dramatic flair."

Back in the now, Betty and Matthew are hovering on the sidelines of a neighborhood block meeting. MAVO: "But Betty was no longer a concert pianist. She was now just a woman with a secret -- one she was determined to keep by any means necessary." Mrs. McCluskey is cranking about how unsurprised she is that Wisteria has had a(nother) break-in, seeing as the police don't patrol there at all. Though, really, the police presence is almost constant, considering the frequency with which they're called in to handle Wisteria Lane's many arsonists, murderers, and domestic disturbers. Tom points out that they have the neighborhood watch, but Mrs. McCluskey dismisses that as "joke," pointedly asking when was the last time anyone there had been on patrol, a question the neighbors answer with a guilty silence. Mrs. McCluskey says that she, at least, has installed security lights on her house, but she also thinks they need to pony up for professional security. Lynette says that sounds expensive. Mrs. McCluskey: "Could you really put a price on your kids' safety? Well, you probably could." Ha. Lynette says in a tired voice that she's as worried as anyone else in the neighborhood. As Lynette and McCluskey bicker, Matthew whispers to Betty that she needs to put a stop to this, and Betty whispers back that she can't exactly say she's against the concept of security. Matthew says something worriedly about "if they find Caleb," but Betty hushes him, saying she needs to "think." Meanwhile, McCluskey is saying something about how she isn't talking about hiring "vigilantes," but "trained men who know when to shoot." The neighbors argue back and forth for a while, until Mrs. McCluskey says it's time to take a "vote about armed security."

And that's when Betty makes her move: she sits down at the (highly convenient) grand piano and plays the villain's "duh-duh-duh-duhhhhh," adding a great deal of vibrating flare to the final "duhhhhh." She apologizes for interrupting -- it's just that "things were getting so dramatic." Tom compliments her on her playing. McCluskey grumps that they were supposed to be taking a vote, but Matthew keeps things off-topic by explaining that his mother used to be a concert pianist. Betty humbly admits that she "dabbled a bit," and then she launches into some serious piano-ing. The crowd listens on with wonder. MAVO: "Yes, Betty Applewhite was a gifted woman, and the greatest of all her gifts was her timing." So, somehow, using nothing but her stirring ebony-and-ivory talents, Betty manages to vaporize all thoughts of neighborhood security? That is the most retarded diversionary tactic ever. And at a scant three minutes into the show, my eyes are already rolling painfully. If they gave out Emmys for Earliest Detour into Implausibility (and I'm pretty sure they do), then this episode can start practicing its acceptance speech.

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Desperate Housewives

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